The Ottosen Empire

How life has been.

2011-12-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

Life has been really good. I am recovering really well from my brain tumor removal surgery. I am physically feeling back to normal. My hair is growing so fast at least that is what everyone keeps telling me. For me my hair is only needs to grow about 3 more inches or so and I will love it.

Funny thing is right before my surgery, I remember looking in the mirror and saying I wish I could just shave all my hair off. I think this was the Lords way of helping me get ready for all my hair to be shaved off. However I do LOVE short hair. I like my hair about the length it is right now, however you can still see my scar and I don't like that so much. I love wearing bows and headband I have made for my hair.

Here are some cute pictures of me.

Here is a picture of my eye's if you noticed on the first picture my eye is starting to move left. I am super excited. I thought that would take the longest to heal and it is healing quicker to heal than my left side of my face being not numb anymore. What also makes me excited is that my eye does have the 6th nerve. The doctor was never sure I did after I had surgery because he could not see the nerve. Yea my eye is starting to move again.

Eli is getting so BIG. He is now 16 months old. He is starting to climb on everything. He now running. He loves to laugh. I ask him to kiss me and he gives me a big hug instead. He just got four molars in the back of his mouth. He either moves or sleeps. In other words he is a very, very active baby/toddler. The other day I could hear him playing in the kitchen I thought he was playing with the dishes, like he always does. I go in there and check on him and he had gotten somehow into the fridge and took out the eggs and broke all of them. Not only that but he but some in his mouth. Yuck. Yes I had to take a picture. Eli loves eggs and it looks like he enjoyed them raw too.

The kids are just having fun together. We went to a line dancing party that our stake had. It was a lot of fun. Even Joshua lined danced. It was a lot of fun. Our stake will be doing it again in January. The sports stake director is hoping to be able to have line dancing party once a month.

The picture on the right is of the girls trying to tackle Caleb. They had fun TRYING.

Marysa has been super busy too. She just finished playing volleyball. She played really well. I love watching her play volleyball. She also sings in the school choir plus she has achievement days every other week. She loves being involved in lots of stuff. She is just getting bigger to fast. She is one beautiful girl.

Caleb and Marysa are in there school Barnett's school choir. They had a December choir concert. I really enjoyed seeing them sing. I like that they both like being in it.

Funny thing is that i was looking over the choir memeber's names, looking for Caleb and Marysa's name. I looked and looked and I could not find Caleb's name at all. I was really sad thinking that they forgot to put his name on the paper. I finally found it and guess what it was the first name on the list.

Caleb and Marysa singing.

Caleb has been busy. He will be playing basketball soon. He went to a team tryout. The boys all show what they can do and than all the coaches get together and choose who they would like on there team. Caleb did well at the tryout and 2 coaches came up to Caleb and asked him what his name was.

He also gave a oral report at school about Russia. He did a real good job. He did a power point presentation, which he did all by himself. I am so proud of him. He is growing up so fast. My 11 year old is now taller than me. I knew that one day he would be taller than me I just didn't think it would happen at the young age of 11.

I don't have any pictures yet but Caleb broke his wrist. The brake is very small. Azalea lost one of her front teeth. Azalea is one smart girl. It amazes me how smart she is. She learns everything so quick. I am sure she will be smarter than me by time she is done with kindergarten.

On Sunday Andrew and I where running a little late so we sent Marysa and Caleb without us to church so that they could save us a spot. Josh and Azalea where not happy and took off running to catch up with them. Even though I told them no. I wasn't happy about it but I did know that Caleb and Marysa would watch them. I really couldn't chase them because I was outside with Eli and I could not leave him alone to catch them.

Anyways Andrew and I get to Church a few minute after they arrived and I see Caleb, Marysa and Joshua out in the hall way. I asked where Azalea was and they said in the chapel. I walk in there and there is Azalea saving a row for us. It was the 2nd row up front. Not only that but she had the hymn book opened up to the right page that the congregation was singing. Page 177. I was impressed most of the kindergartners her age are still learning how to count to 100. She knows how to count above 100. Not only that she was on the right page. She was also being really reverent.

Wow, life has been good. I am so blessed.

Azalea turned 6 years old.

2011-11-20T22:43:00.000-07:00

Wow, Azalea 3 days ago you turned 6 years old. I am so happy I get to be your mother. Your dad and I waited along time for you. It took us about 1 1/2 to get pregnant with you. That has been one of the hardest 1 1/2 years of my life. I am so grateful that you came to this family. We are so blessed to have you.

You started kindergarten this past August. You are doing really well. You are learning to read and write so quickly. You can already spell the words horse and bus. You the other day wrote a note saying I like a horse. You can count to 100 already. I love that you love school.

This picture was taken the day after you turned 6.

Here is a picture of you just minutes after you where born. I think this is such a cute picture. You where 9lbs even when you where born.

Here is a picture of you a day after you where born.

Here you are at about 1 month old.

Here you are at 6 months old.

Here you are at a year old. I think your little brother Eli who is 15 months old looks so much like you when you where one.

Here you are at 2 years old.

Here you are a little over 3 years old.

Here you are at 4 years old.

Here you are a couple days before you turn 5.

Here you are about 1 week after you turned 5. You had your hair cut because you had cut it.

Here you are at 5 1/2 with even shorter hair because again you had cut it . However no matter how short your hair is you always look beautiful.

Your fifth year of life was a little difficult for you. At 5 1/2 years old you had to have your appendix removed. You did so well though. You recovered quickly so you where back climbing and jumping off everything.

You had a great birthday this year. I love you so much

Happy Birthday Azalea.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-07T15:13:00.000-07:00

Halloween 2011 was really fun. It pretty much went from Friday October 28th to Monday October 31st. We went trick or treating 5 different time.

On Friday October 28th we went trick or treating at Payson Market and on Saturday we went trick or treating down Payson Main street. We went with Amber and her kids. The kids had a lot of fun. We also went trick or treating on Halloween with Amber and her kids in Amber's neighborhood. That was lot of fun also. Look at all the fun the kids had in the above picture.

Saturday night on October 29th we had a LDS ward party. The party was so much fun. There was a ward soup dinner. The soup Andrew made was the first soup all gone. Everybody loved it. There was also trick or treating down the halls. There was also a room where they dyed your hair. Even I got my hair dyed.

On Monday Halloween Day. I first went to the kids school and saw the Costume parade. It was outside and it was kind of cold. It was really cute though. What was even cuter is that the 6th graders walked with the kindergartner's so Caleb walked with Azalea. Than after school Andrew's work had a trick or treating and the kids and I went there it was so much fun and the kids got tons of candy. As I mentioned earlier on Halloween night we went trick or treating with Amber and her kids.

So by trick or treating 5 different times, we ended up with a lot of candy. I mean a lot. Oh how I love Halloween.

So below are pictures of my kids in there costumes.

I took all of the photo's below of my kids about 2 weeks before Halloween. It was a lot of fun. I think I did a great job. I am falling in love with taking pictures.

Caleb is an escaped prisoner.

Marysa is Alice in wonderland.

Azalea is a Witch cat.

Joshua is a skeleton.

Eli is a baby devil.

Since this post is one week past Halloween that means today is November 7th so I would like to say Happy 30th birthday to my twin sister Amy Shetter and Amber Murray.

I had a brain tumor.

2011-10-16T00:22:00.000-06:00

I had a brain tumor.

It was a large tumor. It was 5cm x 5cm x 5cm.

It was on my 5th cranial nerve.

I had an MRI done on September 12, 2011. I had one because I had been having the left side of my face go numb once in awhile for about 60 seconds each time. Also because since I was 8 months pregnant with Eli I had vertigo all the time.

I found out in the late afternoon of September 12, 2011 when someone called from the doctors office telling me I had a large benign tumor and that I had to go to their office the next morning at 9:30.

At the meeting they told me I had to go straight to the ER in Provo at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. Because that is the quickest way to see a neurosurgeon.

He told me that I would need surgery right away. I enter the ICU on Tuesday September 13th and had surgery on Thursday September 15th 2011.

Here are some pictures of me right after surgery. The surgery lasted about 7 1/2 hours.

Here are some pictures of my family that visited me right after surgery.

It includes my mom, dad, sister Amber and my husband Andrew.

Here are some pictures of me in the ICU. I do not remember talking on the phone with some one. I don;t remember sitting there watching tv . I don't remember taking a picture of myself.

Here are some pictures of me that I remember taking of myself.

I had 35 staples in my head.

It was a month ago today that I had that brain surgery to remove my tumor. I am starting to feel much better. However 2 of my nerves need to repair and that can take about 6 months. So my 5th nerve needs to repair and so that means the left part of my face is numb. Also cranial nerve number 6 needs to repair and so my left eye doesn't move and so I see double every now and then that will also take about 6 months to heal. Also my left eye lid is having trouble and it droops and it will take time to heal also. My scar is healing also.

I have had so much help. The people in LDS ward brought me dinner for 2 weeks straight. They have come to help me clean. While I was in the hospital the ward helped clean up our yard. They did a lot of work in the house to make it look nicer. They took out carpet and put new carpet in. They painted walls. They put tile we had bought in our bathroom. They finished a lot of work that Andrew and I never finished because we ran out of money.

My mother in law has helped out a lot too. My sister Amber also has helped out a lot to by watching my kids when I need her too. Andrew worked from home for 2 weeks.

I am so grateful for everything everyone has done for me. I am also thankful that people love me and that they keep praying for me.

Eli turns one (better late than never)

2011-09-09T15:29:00.000-06:00

Eli I guess it is better late than never to talk to you about you turning one. You have only been one for 3 weeks. You can't blame me. Right after you turned one your brothers and sisters started school. It has been crazy. Would not have it any other way though.

Wow Eli I can not believe you are already one. We have had so much fun. We all love you so much.

You have grown so much in your first year of life. You learned to smile, to sit all by yourself, to crawl, to walk. At one you are still nursing. You love walking. I swear you are either walking or sleeping. You LOVE to be out side.

We had a family birthday party for you. Many people who loved you showed up. Some where not able to come like Grandma and Grandpa Tolman because they live in Texas. So sad.

You loved your birthday cake you had so much fun playing in with it. The cake got all over. Thank goodness we were outside. Out of all your siblings I think you had the most fun with your very own first birthday cake. You get your very own birthday cake on your first birthday.

Eli exploring the world around him

Like I have already said you LOVE to be outside. You are constantly exploring. Getting into things. Seeing how things work. Climbing on anything and everything. You even try to climb fences. I need to keep my on you at all times. You really scared me about 2 weeks ago. You where on the grass playing and I was working in the garden. I looked up and you were gone. You had managed to walk the up the little hill and walk down the drive way and you were on your way to the road. You were going after Josh and Azalea. You sure do move fast. Being outside makes you happy you could spend hours outside just looking to see this how this amazing earth works. I sometimes think that you like being outside more than you like me. You could be upset but once you are outside you are happy.

We went to a ward Ice cream social the day before your birthday and you had some much fun. You didn't even care that Azalea once she was done with her Ice cream but her empty bowl on your head and got Ice cream all over you. You tried climbing the fence. You loved watching the other kids play.

Playing while at Marysa's soccer game

Playing with the umbrella at Caleb's soccer game.

All of your older brothers and sisters are playing soccer right now. You have just as much fun at there games as they do. You are all over. Daddy and I take turns watching you while your brothers and sisters play. There is a softball field next to the soccer field. You love playing in the dirt. You love running to the bases. You love laying on the bases. You are just content because you are outside.

I can not tell you enough how much we all love you. And how happy we are that you are part of this family. You make us smile.

Even though it is late

Happy Birthday Eli

Azalea starts kindergarten

2011-08-29T14:46:00.000-06:00

Wow, Azalea I can not believe you are in kindergarten. I can, but at the same time I can't. You were the baby that I tried to get pregnant with for over a year. You are the baby that I cried and cried over to get you here. And here we are almost 6 years later.

Now you get to go to school with your brother and sister. You get to learn many, many things. You get to make new friends.

The past week has been kind of slow. Kindergarten starts a week later than the other grades. Each day last week you would ask if you got to go to school today.

Today was your day.

You woke up before any of the other kids. You got dressed in the new school clothes that Grandma Cameron bought for you. I did your hair and put in a cute bow in your hair that I had made for you to match your outfit.

You were so excite to start that you ran down the hill on your way to school. You did not want to wait for anyone.

You are so lucky you get to start kindergarten with your cousin Lily. Now we know how crazy you two can be together so we asked that you be put in separate classes. You will be able to see Lily enough I am sure.

You were so excite to start that you ran down the hill on your way to school. You did not want to wait for anyone.

Before school started we ate breakfast at school. You will be eating breakfast at school all year long. You will be also walking with Caleb, Marysa, Sarah and Lily to school everyday. You better behave and listen to your brother and sister.

After breakfast we went to your classroom. Once there you put on a name tag.

And went to the class room rug to wait for school to start.

I had a hard time saying goodbye. So I stood outside the door and watched you through the window for a couple of minutes. I really just wanted to stay there the whole time. Don't worry I took one more picture of you doing your first thing ever in kindergarten, which was use scissors to cut lines on paper. Than I left.

After school your 2 younger brothers and I came and picked you up from school. You saw me and came running to me, with a huge smile on your face. You loved your first day of kindergarten and I hope you have many more wonderful days in kindergarten.

After I picked you up we went to the lunchroom to have lunch. Who did we see working in the lunch room your big brother Caleb. However you were not well behaved eating lunch in the school lunchroom that I don't know how often we will be eating lunch at school. We saw Marysa at lunch too and she said that we at least had to come when it was her turn to work in the lunch room.

Wow kindergarten already.

Joshua's story of how (hopefully) he stopped sucking his finger.

2011-08-25T22:18:00.000-06:00

Joshua this is the story of how hopefully you stopped sucking your left index finger.

It was evening and I was nursing Eli and Andrew was finishing up making dinner. Joshua I saw you trying to eat a lime like an apple. I told you that you couldn't eat it that way, and that it must be cut first. So instead of waiting for either me or your dad to finish what we were doing you decide to cut it yourself.

The lime and knife you used to cut your finger with.

You took a huge kitchen knife and stabbed the lime. This knife belonged to your Great Grandmother Shanley. You stabbed the knife good. To good in doing so once the knife went through the lime it than cut your finger.

Just another picture of the lime and knife.

Both Dad and I where not more than 7 ft away from you. How you managed to cut your finger without us noticing. I don't know. Even Aunt Amber was here. You came up to me and said mom I am bleeding. When I saw that cut I franticly handed Eli to Amber. Don't remember much about what happened after that. All I know is that we went to the hospital so fast that Daddy didn't even have time to put his shoe's on.

The stitches the Er doctor put in your finger.

Once at the hospital we realized that you had cut your left index finger. This is the finger that you have up to this point sucked since you were a baby. Once the emergency doctor had seen your finger. He told us that you cut your tendon and that you would need surgery. So he lightly stitched it up, wrapped it up and sent us on our way. This was a Tuesday.

The wrap used until you had surgery.

On Friday we were finally able to see the hand doctor. He said that you most likely cut a nerve too. We could tell that you cut a tendon because you could not more your finger. Surgery was set for Monday.

Surgery was early Monday morning. We had to be at the surgical center by 6:30am. Thankfully Grandma Cameron let us spend the night at her house so that we didn't have to travel as far. Grandma's house was only about 10 minutes away instead of our 30 minute drive.

Once we got to the Surgical center they had you get ready. They put a gown on you and a cute blue surgical hat thingy. You looked so cute.

All ready for surgery.

They gave you this cut little lion. That you where able to take with you into surgery.

They then us to this room where you could play with toys until your surgery.

Even Eli was able to play with the toys.

Finally it was time to go. A nurse walked you back to where you where going to have surgery. Daddy and I waited out in the waiting room. We where told that the surgery should only take about an hour, but it took closer to two hours. I was starting to get a little worried closer to the end. The Doctor finally came out to speak with us he said that you indeed had cut a nerve and that you had also cut two tendons. And that the surgery went well.

Still sleeping from surgery.

We had to wait a little longer before we could go in and see you. They where finishing up the surgery and putting your cast on.

Look how big that cast is on you

Just another picture of your cast.

Still waiting for you to wake up from surgery.

Still waiting.

Starting to wake up

Drinking your first drink.

As you where waking up you were still out of it for a little while. However we could go home as soon as you drank something and was able to keep it down. You drank two juice boxes and had some apple sauce.

Feeling a little sick after drinking some juice and apple sauce.

However you started feeling sick like you were going to thrown up. Luckily you never did through up.

Daddy trying to comfort you.

Mommy is who you really wanted.

It was hard for you waking up from surgery. It must have felt awful having that huge cast on your arm. Once you really came out of the stuff that puts you to sleep. (Yea I know what it is called I just can't spell ). you did really well.

So ready to go home.

Waiting for the van so you can go home.

Joshua you have been handling all this real well. You have hardly complained about the cast. You have not let this cast slow you down one bit. You wore this cast for 10 days and than we went back to the hand doctor and he put on a smaller cast. This cast just goes to below the elbow. You will where this cast until the 6th of September and than you will start seeing the hand therapist. I do not know how often we will have to see him. So by time all is said and done it could be months before that finger is really functional. I must say that I am very proud of how you have been handling all of it. You have not been able to suck that finger for over 3 weeks now. You are just rolling with what ever comes. This should not surprise me though you have always just been able to roll with the punches.

Joshua's new cast.

This is the story of how you (hopefully) stopped sucking your finger. I would hope that by no being able to suck on it for a couple of months will break you from this habit. I guess we will see in about a month or two.

Eli 11 months Old.

2011-07-21T13:45:00.000-06:00

Wow Eli I can not believe you are already a month old. It amazes me how fast you grow and learn. In the last couple of days you have started to walk. You will take about 6 to 8 steps at a time. You are also standing up by yourself. You are a mamma's boy. Marysa can be at times your second mama. She can put you to sleep sometimes easier than I can. You love Daddy you get so excited when he comes home from work. You crawl/walk to him so that he will pick you up. You give him a big hug.

You have to modes sleeping or exploring. Even when you nurse (which you still enjoy doing a lot) you move around a lot. It seems like you always need to be moving some part of your body.

You have 6 teeth. 4 up top and 2 on the bottom.

I love that you are part of this family. We have so much fun with you. Your older brothers and sisters are enjoying teaching you how to walk. I love that they look out for you. With all the exploring you do, you need many people watching out for you. It only takes a few seconds for you to crawl out of a room.

Much to our dismay your favorite room in the house is the bathroom. I don't know what it is about the toilet but if we forget to shut the door that is usually where I find you and usually there are a few things in the toilet. We are getting better at remembering to shut the bathroom door.

Enjoy the following picture. You will come to know that I can not take to many pictures. I got a few really cute pictures of you. It was not easy. You did not want to sit still.

I have a love/hate relationship with you learning how to walk.
I love seeing you learn new things. I hate how fast you are growing up.

You love exploring. Here you are looking in a bucket that if full of news paper.

Playing in the dirt.

Here I am trying to get a picture.

Still trying to get your 11 month pictures taken.

Eli I love this picture. To me your eyes are saying,
Really mom more pictures.

I think you look so much like your dad in this picture.
I love your chubby cheeks Eli.

I love your cute little feet.

Oh Eli I can never get enough of that smile or dimple. Your smile makes my heart melt.

Life has been CRAZY.

2011-06-16T23:11:00.001-06:00

Lets see my last post was of Joshua turning four. Since than life had been pretty busy.

Caleb turned 11 on May 24th. He just finished 5th grade and is now in Boy Scouts. He is as tall as me. The other day I was sitting on the couch and out of the corner of my eye I saw a man. It startled me because Andrew was at work. It was Caleb. I new that one day my Sons would be taller than me I just never thought it would happen this early.

My very handsome boy Caleb. He loves his Grandpa Ottosen's motorcycle and he loves riding on it too.

Marysa turned 9 on May 28th. She is as beautiful as ever. She just finished the 3rd grade. She was able to go to Missouri with he Grandma and Grandpa Cameron. She had a lot of fun. One of her favorite parts was this huge roller coaster at Silver Dollar City. This makes me exited because she is now tall enough to go on all the rides at lagoon and she would would have a blast going on all of them. I would love to go to Lagoon with Caleb and Marysa it would be so much fun. Marysa is also a big help when it comes with Eli. Eli loves her. It is so cute to watch.

Marysa having fun.

On fun thing we did on Marysa's birthday, is the kids and I participated in a 5k. It was a lot of fun. The kids and I finished the 5k in one hour. I pushed Eli in a stroller and Caleb and Marysa took turns pushing the double jogger stroller that hat Josh and Azalea in it. Caleb and Marysa did great neither on of the complained at all. The weather was perfect. I would not mind participating in another 5k. I would like to someday be able to run one with a goal of about 40 minutes.

The kids and I right after the 5k.

Picture of Me walking the 5k.

Caleb and Marysa walking the 5k race.

Azalea cut her hair again. We are trying to teach her how to be obedient and She is just having the hardest time. She is not going to be able to go swimming for some time because until she can show be she can follow the rules she can not go swimming. Last year she ran off and a life guard had to pull her from the lazy river at the Payson pool.

Azalea with her new hair cut. Even with short hair she looks beautiful.

Just love this picture. And I am showing off a bow that I made.

Eli had to get 9 stitches in his mouth. This is quite the story. I was getting dinner ready and Eli was in the stroller and I told Azalea "Do not take him outside." Well she didn't listen and while I wasn't looking she took him out and tried to take him down the stairs while he was in the stroller. He was to heavy and she let go of the stroller and down he went. He hurt is mouth I am guessing on a stake we have on flower garden border. She new she was going to get in trouble so instead of telling me Eli is hurt she ran and hid. I was not happy at all. This all happened about 2 hours before Marysa was headed to leave to go to Missouri. This was on a Friday June 3rd.

Eli with is hurt lip. It looked a lot worse right after it happened.

Here is a close up of his lip.

Fast forward to Wednesday June 8th and at about 2pm Azalea started telling me her belly hurt. By about 4 she was just crying in pain. By 7:30 Azalea was in surgery getting her appendix removed. It all happened just so fast. She spent the night at the hospital and was home by 4:00pm on Thursday.

Azalea with an IV in her. I hate having IV's they hurt.

Azalea in her cute hospital gown. Got to love that naked bum.

Even in the hospital Azalea has to look her best.

Finally going home.

On Sunday June 12th I had to take Eli to the doctor because he had a tempature of 102. He ended up having a sinus infection. The doctor thinks that there was swelling where he had his stitches and it blocked his sinuses and there for he got the sinus infection.

Azalea is doing really well she is back to her old wild self. Eli is also doing better.

Lets hope the rest of summer is filled with fun.

Joshua is now 4 years old.

2011-05-20T14:45:00.000-06:00

Josh turned 4 yesterday. I hope he had a good birthday. We didn't do much. But I told him all day long Happy Birthday. We had cake and Ice cream for him.

Josh is getting so big. He is learning how to count. He is going to speech therapy. He has been able to go to preschool this past year. The bus even comes to pick him up. He is still sucking his index finger and twirls his hair at the same time. Oh how I love this boy.

Enjoy the pictures. I plan on doing a photo shoot with my kids on or close by their birthdays. The first 5 are pictures I took of Josh on his 4th birthday. The others are just random pictures that I just love of Josh.

I think Josh looks like a mini Sheldon Cooper from the TV show The big bang Theory.

I think Josh is looking like a boy instead of a little boy.

This is Josh playing with a toy sword, that his Aunt Amber gave him.

Just got to love that fake smile.

This picture is so Josh.

As you can see Josh is still sucking his finger and twirling his air.

He is holding a car. He is always holding a car.

He is wearing his favorite shirt.

This picture is taken of Josh on his last day of preschool this year.

He has learned so much. This year. Next year at this time I am going to be getting this little

boy ready for kindergarten. How the time flies.

Josh is almost 2 in this picture.

I just love that curly hair.

I love those red boots.

This is Josh just minutes after he is born.

Notice his hand is by his mouth.

This is Josh at 18 months.

This is one of my all time favorite pictures of Josh.

He is about 6 months old.

I am so grateful that Joshua is part of our family. He adds so much joy, laughter, patience and much more to our family. I can not imagine life without him.

I love you Josh

Happy Birthday!

From Andrew: Snow!

2011-05-02T23:17:00.001-06:00

I just had to post this picture of snow on our flowers. Not something we expected. Especially after all the global warming information Al Gore has been so kind to give everyone!

This is up at Chad T.'s new place:

Danette

2011-05-01T18:42:00.000-06:00

Danette is a great big sister. Thanks danette for all you do for us. We love you so much.

Amber

My new hair cut.

2011-04-29T13:42:00.000-06:00

I can't stand long hair. Just can't stand it. I don't know if it is because I am getting older or not. So my hair had reached that point it was getting to long. It was about 2 inches (maybe) below my ear. So off to the Salon to get it cut.

While we are on the subject of hair. Caleb the other day was looking at my hair and he said

"Mom you have gray hair ".

"Yes I do" I replied.

He replies "Wow, you are getting old.

The next day at the salon Marysa had just finished getting her hair cut. She came to see me as I was still getting my hair cut and she says "Mom are getting WHITE highlights."

No, I replied that is gray hair.

Marysa replies "Wow you are getting old."

So I hope you like my new hair cut and in Marysa words I hope you like my white highlights.

Eli is 8 months old.

2011-04-20T17:29:00.000-06:00

Eli is 8 months old. Only 4 more months until he is ONE. He is getting so big. I took him to the doctor for a cough and he weighed in at 19lbs 10z. Dang my milk must be straight cream. No really this kid wants nothing to do with food. He moves my hand away when I try to feed him. Or he moves his head. He will not open his mouth. I have tried sitting him in a high chair and see if he will feed himself. Nothing works this kid only likes his mommies milk.

Eli is now crawling a lot. He is pulling himself up on everything and anybody. He is even starting to walk around furniture. He babbles all the time. His favorite is mama next is dada. He is pretty much sleeping through the night.

The biggest news of all Eli has cut his first tooth. It seems like it took forever, mostly because I swear he was cutting teeth at 3 months old.

I went and took some 8 month pictures of Eli and took over 150, but don't worry I am not going to show you all of them.

I sure love this boy.

I love his eyes.

I love his goofy faces.

I love jeans on babies.

I love that he is pulling himself up.

I still love that dimple.

I love that he is curios.

I love his smile.

I don't love how he puts everything in his mouth. That is everything, but food.

Eli grabbing a dandelion. Which he than put in his mouth. Which I than took right out.

I just love this picture. So cute.

Eli doing his time.

Eli still doing his time.

Help someone get me out of here.

This better be the only time Eli is behind bars.

I couldn't resist the garbage liners where empty and I just had to take a few pictures.

Mom that is enough pictures.

My sister Ambers maternity shots.

2011-03-27T00:29:00.001-06:00

I had a really fun time taking pictures of Amber and her BIG pregnant belly. For being a amateur, I think I did a pretty good job.

Isn't my sister beautiful.

This is Amber's favorite.

This is my favorite.

So we took these pictures on March 20th. The next day March 21st Connor Del was born at 9:37pm after about 16 hours of labor. He weighed 7lbs 8 oz and he was 20 inches long. He is Amber's smallest baby.

Holi-Festival of Colors

2011-03-27T00:14:00.000-06:00

Marysa and I went to the India holiday Holi-Festival of Colors. It was held at the Krshna Temple in Spanish Fork, Utah.

The Tradition

In India, Holi announces the arrival of spring and the passing of winter. The festival breathes an atmosphere of social merriment. People bury their hatchets with a warm embrace and throw their worries to the wind. Every nook and corner presents a colorful sight. Young and old alike are covered with colors (red, green, yellow, blue, black and silver). People in small groups are seen singing, dancing and throwing colors on each other. Though liquid colors are used in India (where it's warm) we prohibit them, as we don't want anyone to catch cold on account of the festival. Dry is better for photographs as well.

There will be musical interludes, the lighting of a bonfire, burning of an effigy, and the throwing of dry colors on friend and foe alike.

It was really nice just to spend a couple of hours with just me and Marysa. The weather was not the best. It was pretty cold at the end. We however had a lot of fun. Throwing colors on everyone and getting colors thrown on us.

The before picture.

The fun is just beginning.

Mother and Daughter

Don't I look beautiful.

Marysa tried to get every color they had on her.

Don't forget the feet.

Marysa is one beautiful girl, even when she is covered in colors.

The after picture.

Eli is 7 months old.

2011-03-26T23:48:00.000-06:00

Eli is 7 months old. Boy is he getting big fast. I keep telling him to stop growing but he just will not listen. He is now crawling. He loves to play on the floor. He is making sounds. His favorite is mom or mmmmm. He can also say da da and he can make a n sound and a ch sound. He is also becoming a mommy's boy. He does just fine until he sees me leave the room. Or if he was doing fine and I come back and he sees me he starts crying.

He is such a great addition to our family. He makes us all smile and laugh each day.

Caleb one awesome big brother

2011-03-11T15:21:00.000-07:00

Caleb is such an awesome big brother. He likes to play with his brothers and sisters. He will hold them for me, and he ask to hold them (when they were babies) all the time.

He is/was constantly falling asleep while holding his siblings while they are sleeping.

I have added picture of Caleb holding Azalea, Josh, and Eli as babies. He may have fallen asleep next to Marysa, however pictures of Caleb and Marysa as babies were taken with mm film. We didn't go digital until Marysa was 2 1/2 and Caleb was 4 1/2.

Caleb and Azalea

Caleb and Josh

Caleb and Eli

The year so far in review.

2011-02-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

We have had a very busy beginning of the year. Each one of these events deserve a blog post of there own. However I didn't get to it fast enough, and now I am playing catch up. These pictures are in no particular order.

This picture was taken this past weekend. My grandmother Tolman had just turned a young 85 and there was a wonderful party for her. My parents from Texas where able to come. It was fun seeing them again. This is a four generation picture. It has my grandma, my dad, me and all of my children.

Eli turned 5 months old in January. This picture was taken at about 5 1/2 months. He is sitting up now. Which he really enjoys. He can sit and play with toys for quite a while.

I finally cut my hair. Well I didn't a place here in Payson called American Beauty did. It is a school for hair and it only cost me 4 dollars. I love it.

Eli is finally big enough to take a bath in the big tub. This is great. I love it when they can finally sit up all by them selves to sit in a big tub. When they can sit all by themselves I usually just have them sit in the tub when I take a shower. It is so nice. They play while I shower and than when I am done I can bath them. It also makes it so the get use to the shower.

Azalea lost her first tooth. I still can not believe she is old enough. I suppose she seems young because Marysa didn't loose her first tooth until she was 7 1/2 and Azalea is barely 5.

In February our cub scouts had their blue and gold banquet. Caleb errand 3 webelos pins.

In January our cub scouts had their pine wood derby. Caleb didn't win anything but he sure did have a lot of fun.

Here is just a random picture of Josh. He is still super cute. He still sucks his finger and twirls his hair. By the picture he sure likes to color on his face that is.

Caleb is playing basketball and he is doing awesome. He is the tallest one on the team. He really is enjoying playing. I really enjoy watching him play. Basketball has a special place in my heart. I love playing it. For the past month or so we have been getting up twice a week before school and going to the church and playing basketball together with some friends. I love teaching him how to play the exercise is great too.

Marysa was in the play Beauty and the Beast at the local Jr high. She was an extra she loved it so much. We enjoyed watching her in the play. All of the students did a great job. Marysa loved it so much she wants to be in the next play that they are putting together in the spring.

I hope you enjoyed our month in review. Lets hope I can be more on top of things in the future. Maybe not after all I am the mother of five.

Eli is 5 months old.

2011-01-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

f Eli is 5 months old. Time sure is going by fast. He is laughing and reaching for toys. He is so close to sitting up all by himself. He loves to smile. He doesn't get mad very often, but when he does he gets mad. At four months old he weighed 16lbs 1oz which put him in the 74% for height and he was 27 inches long which put him in the 97th % for height.

For pictures I am going to put up his four month pictures. One because I never got around to posting them and 2 the cable that transports the pictures from my camera to my computer is broken.

Are you ready for picture overload.

I love how he smiles. As soon as he wakes up, he will smile at the first person he sees.

I love his eyes. They are going to be brown.

I love his ears. They are so cute.

They stick out a little, but that is what I love about them.

I love how he is starting to interact
with his brothers and sister.

I love his cry.

I love how he is now playing with toys.

He was four months old around Christmas time. I wanted to get a picture of him in a Christmas stocking. We found out Christmas of 2009 that we were going to be having another baby. He is the best Christmas present ever.

Marysa Playing volleyball.

2010-12-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

Marysa is having a ball playing volleyball. She is getting better each game. The video is of her serving the ball. She was able to get it over twice. She has one more game, she is going to be sad when it is over. She is even coming with me when we have open court volleyball at the church.

Gingle bells, gingle bells

2010-12-20T20:58:00.001-07:00

Josh has been singing Jingle Bells all over the house. Except it comes out gingle bells, gingle bells. So cute.

The other kids saw me videoing Joshua and wanted to join in.

Enjoy.

Eli is 3 months old.

2010-11-24T14:10:00.000-07:00

Eli is 3 months old. He smiles all the time. He is getting really big, last time he was weighed he weighed 15lbs. He is wearing mostly 6-9 month clothes.

We had our first snow storm last night. I took Eli outside to take some pictures of him in the snow.

Here he is sitting in the apple tree. I am holding him up.

Here he is laying in the snow.

He looks so cute in this blue snowsuit.

I got a few good shots, but it was really cold and Eli had had enough.

Volleyball

2010-11-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

Here Marysa is Serving the ball.

Marysa is playing volleyball. She is just learning how, so the games mostly are won by which team can serve it over the net the most. She is having a lot of fun

Here is Marysa receiving the ball.

Here is a video of Marysa serving the ball. Sorry it is a bit shaky I was holding Eli and trying to video at the same time.

I am in LOVE

2010-11-22T11:34:00.001-07:00

I am in Love.

Eli

Joshua

Azalea

Marysa

Caleb

I just love how their personalities peek through

My Boys

My Girls

I am forever grateful that I get to be the mother to these wonderful children. Like I said I am in LOVE.

Happy Birthday Azalea

2010-11-17T21:56:00.004-07:00

Happy Birthday to my little Azalea. I can not believe she is already five years old. She is so sweet, she is always thinking of others. If she is getting a treat she wants to make sure everyone else gets one too. Azalea also keeps me on my toe, you can not take your eye off of her for even one minute.

Notice how nice and long her hair is in this picture. She is looking like a big girl.

Notice how short and cute her hair looks in this picture. You know what happened I took my eyes off her for a minute. Yes she cut her hair AGAIN. Not so happy about it, but I think this hair cut makes her look like a little girl. I do not want her growing up to fast.

Just another cute picture of Azalea.

This picture shows her wonderful smile.

This picture is to show my parents what they go her for her birthday. They sent her some money and she went and chose something that she wanted.

This picture is for Azalea. She loves I mean loves the color purple.

Happy Birthday Azalea we are so glad you are in our family.

Meeting half way

2010-11-15T14:09:00.004-07:00

This past weekend the kids and I took a trip to Idaho. My sister Amber is moving to Texas. My dad game to help her. We decided to meet about half way between Boise Idaho and Payson Utah. It so happens that my uncle Devan's house(my dad's brother)is about half way.

Andrew wasn't able to come so that I could pick up my Grandma so she could see my dad too. It was a lot of fun seeing my dad and sister again.

This is my Uncle Devan, he was nice enough to let his house be our half way.

Here is Eli, dang this kid is cute.

My dad meeting Eli for the first time.

Four generations

We played Apples to Apples. These are Sarah's hands.

Josh watching us play.

Grandpa's wild flowers Azalea and Lily sitting on his lap.

8
Caleb pondering what card to put down.

Azalea and Lily playing.

Getting ready to say goodbye.

Marysa and Sarah saying goodbye.

Amber and I saying goodbye.

Lily and Azalea saying goodbye.

just for fun, some cows we saw in the middle of the road on the way home.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T14:34:00.003-06:00

This video is mainly for my parents who live in Texas. I would recommend seeing it any ways because the actors in this are just to cute.

Eli is 2 months old.

2010-10-20T14:40:00.006-06:00

Eli is now 2 months old. He is starting to smile more. He is such a joy. I love taking pictures of him. Although and can never seem to get him to smile when I am taking a picture. To bad to cause he has a super cute smile.
I just can't get enough of this child. So cute.

I went outside to take pictures of Eli. He feel asleep under the peach tree. He looked so comfy and cute that I just wanted to curl up next to him and sleep with the warm fall sun on me too.

I love Eli's dimple it is soooooooo cute. You can see it really good in this picture.

I love baby yawns.

My boys- who is who

2010-10-14T11:29:00.002-06:00

Can you guess which son of mine is in which picture?

1

2

3

The answers will be in the comments.
I think my all of my boys have a similar look. They all look like there dad.

Eli smiles

2010-10-13T18:33:00.006-06:00

We thought you would all like to see this video of Eli smiling. We thought of those who aren't in Utah but at this point even family/friends here haven't seen him smile. We hope you enjoy.

Eli's Baby Blessing

2010-10-13T17:54:00.004-06:00

Eli was blessed in our home on Sunday October 3rd, 2010. Eli was blessed at about 12:30pm in between sessions of General Conference. Eli is our first child to have his baby blessing at home. While I still prefer to have the baby blessing during Sacrament meeting, it was a very special blessing.
We blessed him at home so that my brother Chad and sister Amber and her family could be present at the blessing. Also by having it at home my parents who live in Texas where able to hear the blessing over the phone.

Andrew gave a wonderful blessing. In the blessing Eli was told that his family loves him. We was blessed with protection and strength as he grows to manhood. He was blessed with an eternal perception. He was told to keep in mind the Lords plan. And that he would have a understanding and desire to work out his salvation.

I am so glad that Eli has joined our family.

Enjoy the pictures below.

Don't Marysa and Caleb look so happy to be in the family picture.

This is a picture of the men who stood in the circle during Eli's blessing. Left to right we have John Andrews dad, Denton Andrew's step dad, and my brother Chad.

Can you see Josh in this picture? I usually think I look really bad in pictures but I think I look nice in this picture.

This is not my favorite of Eli but I wanted to get a shot of his full baby blessing outfit. It is the same outfit that Josh wore.

I like this profile picture of Eli.

I love Eli's face in this picture. Too cute.

Salem Pond

2010-09-20T16:27:00.005-06:00

As a family we went to Salem pond. We had a lot of fun.

So what did we do at Salem pond will let me show you.

We watched the water.

We fed the ducks.

I had fun taking pictures. As did Marysa she took the picture of me.

You can't have too many pictures of your loved ones. Andrew thinks I am picture crazy. Maybe he is right.

We played on the toys and slid down the slides.

We played in the sand and threw rocks in the pond.

We played on the dock.

We swung on the swings. Or at least Azalea did.

We had a lot of fun at Salem pond. It was really nice to spend sometime together as a family. It was also nice to enjoy the weather before it starts getting cool. We only lost track of one kid for a moment and that was Azalea. I swear that child has magical powers. One minute she is by the drinking fountain and the next she is down by the water. Oh how that child scares me sometimes.

Eli

2010-09-13T13:30:00.006-06:00

Well Eli is 3 1/2 weeks old. We are having so much fun with him. Caleb and Marysa just love to hold him. Josh and Azalea kind of just ignore him. Josh more than Azalea. For the most part he is a good baby. He loves to be held almost to much though. In the evening all he wants to do is nurse. He loves to nurse and it shows.
At two weeks old he weighed 8lbs 14 oz so 12oz more than he was born.

Here are some more pictures of Eli that I took.

Here is Eli getting his first bath. He was 10 days old. He feel right to sleep. He loved the warm water.

As soon as he got comfortable he decided to pee. Marysa took this picture. She took as he was peeing. He got a good arch.

This picture of Eli was taken when he was 10 days old. He is just so cute.

The following pictures are of Eli at 3 1/2 weeks old.

Eli Cameron Ottosen

2010-08-23T16:16:00.003-06:00

Eli Cameron Ottosen was born August 20, 2010. He weighed 8lbs 2oz. He is 22 inches long, the nurse even measured him twice to make sure he was 22 inches long. The kids love him as do Andrew and I.
pictures of Eli just minutes after he is born.

Eli getting his first bath.

Eli wearing the hat that his Great Grandma Tolman made him.

Eli in his going home outfit.

Welcome to our family Eli.

Last year not a dream, this morning it was just a dream.

2010-06-11T12:39:00.003-06:00

I wasn't really planning on writing about what happened a year ago today. Nobody really cares. I am sure most are tired of hearing about it anyways. Of course I am assuming all of this. After all life for the most part is good. My kids are healthy my little boy growing inside of me is doing well. All though I am measuring 6 weeks ahead. So the doctor wants a ultra sound done on my doctors appointment. My blood sugars are really good to. No need for insulin just yet. Best part is I get to feel Eli move inside of me. It feels so good. Everytime he does it is like he is saying to me Mom I am well and alive. He always seems to know when I start getting worried because he kicks me and reasures me.

This morning however I woke up to a really awful dream. It was a miscarriage dream. I remember in the dream I was in the hospital having a miscarriage. I remember delivering the baby and than someone handing the baby to me. It was super tiny just the size of my palm of my hand. The baby looked alot like the one I miscarried prier to the one last year. In the dream they were not sure if it was a boy or a girl. I do remember saying we were going to name him Eli. Which everyone knows is what we are going to name the little boy I am pregnant with.

So anyways a year ago today I miscarried. I had a D&C. It kind of bothers me that I had that dream this morning. The morning of my one year anniversary. I over analize alot of stuff. Which I am doing right now. I am trying to make since of it.

My first reaction is that I never was able to see that baby and maybe I want some closure. Maybe it was me having a bad dream so that I could wake up and say oh it was just a bad dream it wasn't real. Like it was last year. Is my subconscious telling me something. I have been putting the miscarriage in the back of my mind. Trying to forget it. Thinking no one cares everyone is tired of me talking about them anyways. Maybe even though I have come to accept what happened I still do and always will need to be able to talk about the babies I have lost. That is just how I am I can't just pretend it never happened. Last summer was really really hard. But I made it through it. I should be proud that I did. Did I complain yes. No matter how hard I try I will always remember the day I lost my babies. I will remember it in detail. I can not deny what I went through. Nor should anyone else deny me that right. Not that anyone is. Maybe part of my dream was to remind me that yes I did lose a baby last year and I have the right today to mourn that lose. Which is what I am doing. I don't want to forget. Even though I only carried that baby for 14 weeks he was still mine I still fell in love with him. I may have never felt him kick but he was mine. So today I am saying it has been a year since I lost my baby.

So it should end there but, it bothers me that in the dream I said we were going to name him Eli. Does this dream have two meanings to it. Does it also show how worried I am that something is going to happen to Eli. The closer I get to his due date the more worried I am getting. I am worried about how his birth should go. It all seems so sereal still. That yes in 10 weeks I should be holding a brand new baby sent from heaven. If I trully belive that he will be okay and something goes wrong. Will I be able to handle it. But there is the what ifs going through my mind. I know I should play the what if game. I really try not to but sometime a dream happens and gets you going. THe fears from last year remembering how hard it really was. I am not sure how many people really realize at how hard it got for me. The hard times still really scare me. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I never felt those feelings I had last year with either of my other miscarriages.

Fear is not a good thing. I know that it is of the devil. He worked really hard on me last summer. I think that is why it was so hard last year. It seems he is trying to work on me again. I hate it. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean anything is going to happen to Eli. If anything it just shows how worried I am.

So I had a dream early this morning. A not so good dream. But at least this year it was just a dream.

My boys.

2010-06-09T18:24:00.002-06:00

I knew as soon as I took this picture of Joshua it reminded me of the above picture of Caleb. I like how both of there smiles are crooked. These pictures would look really nice in there room. There room is orange and blue.

Marysa's Baptism

2010-06-08T13:21:00.006-06:00

Marysa was baptized on June 5th, 2010. It was a very special day. Marysa was baptized by her father Andrew Ottosen. Marysa was really nervous she was worried that she would have to get baptized twice. The last couple of baptism we had been to the person being baptized had to be baptized twice. She even had a dream that she only got baptized once. She did not have to be baptized twice. Every single body part, hair and dress where completely under water. Marysa is my first daughter to be Baptized and I enjoyed watching her being baptized from the stairs into the font. I enjoyed helping her get dressed into her white dress that we got her for after her baptism. It was nice hearing her thought immediately after getting baptized. There was another girl in our ward who was baptized right after Marysa and she had to be baptized twice. Her hand did not go completely under water.

It was really nice having friends and family there to support Marysa on this big day. My parents came in from Texas and my sister and her family came in from Idaho.
Marysa's grandma Tolman my mother gave the talk on Baptism. Marysa's Grandma Cameron her dads mother gave the talk on the gift of the Holy Ghost. We sang When I am Baptized and When Jesus Christ was Baptized. The primary aged children that where there sang I am a Child of God.

After the baptism we had a lunch birthday party for Marysa. It was nice to just sit and talk with friends and family. It was nice seeing all the kids running for candy after the pinata broke.

Marysa was confirmed the following day during Sacrament meeting by her Father Andrew Ottosen. Both Andrew, I and Caleb where all confirmed on Sunday during Sacrament meeting. So I also wanted Marysa Confirmed during sacrament meeting. I really think it adds to Sacrament meeting when people are confirmed and they receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. You can really feel the spirit. It was nice to because most of the testimonies where testimonies people where giving on the Holy Ghost. Marysa was able to set up next to the Bishopric for the whole sacrament meeting. Marysa looks so cute in the dress she was baptized in.

Marya and her dad don't they look so cute.

Our attempt at trying to get a Family Picture before Marysa is Baptized

Marysa with her Great Grandma Tolman. Marysa was named after her Great Grandma Tolman. My grandma's name is Mary Madeline and it is Marysa Madeline. We spelled Marysa's name with a y in it so it also had Mary in her name.

Marysa standing by her birthday cake.

Yet another attempt to get a family picture after the confirmation of Marysa.

This picture is of all of the Priesthood holders that where in the circle when Marysa was confirmed a member and received the Gift of the Holy Ghost. Left to right. Marysa's grandpa Cameron, Marysa's grandpa Tolman, Marysa's Uncle Peter, Marysa's Grandpa Ottosen and Marysa's Dad.

Ottosen Family Picture. Andrews family, his dad and his brother and his wife.

Grandma and Grandpa Cameron with Marysa, Caleb, Azalea and Josh.

Marysa with my Parents. Her grandma and grandpa Tolman Who came all the way from Texas.

The following pictures are of Marysa in her white dress that we got her to where after she was baptized. Which by the way I got at a yard sale. She loves it. The pictures where taken around the neighborhood. I think she looks beautiful in all of these pictures. That is why there are so many.

8 is Great

2010-05-28T21:51:00.009-06:00

Happy 8th Birthday Marysa.
Marysa. What can I say about Marysa. First we love her so much. She adds drama to our family. She is the only one of my kids who have not needed early intervention for speech. She has been talking since she was one. She has always had something to say. She still does. She lets you know exactly how she feels.
Marysa underneath all that drama really has a sweet heart. She really does care for her brothers and sister. She is very aware of how you feel. She was a big support for me last summer when I miscarried. She is very excited to see her little brother Eli be born later this summer. Yes I am going to let her watch Eli be born.
I am blessed to be Marysa's mother. She has taught me so much. She makes me laugh and she can make me mad. But no matter what I will always love her and always be glad that she is my daughter.

Marysa was born 4 days late. She weighed 8lbs 13oz. This is her new born picture.

Marysa is a year old in this picture.

This is a our very first digital picture ever. Marysa was 2 1/2. You can see some of her fiesty personality in this picture.

Marysa is about 3 in this picture. This is one of my favorite pictures of her. I just love her eyes in this picture.
Marysa is also about 3 in this pictue.

Marysa is 4 1/2 in this picture.

She is 5 in this picture. This picture was taken on her first day of kindergarten. She just finished 2nd grade. She is reading really well. She loves school, well most days she does.
I love her hair in this picture. She looks really cute with short hair. It is short because her and her friend decided to cut each others hair.

Marysa is 6 1/2 in this picture. It was taken at Christmas time.

Her is Marysa at 7. We had just moved into our new house. The sun was setting just right. I love how she posed just right.

This picture was taken of Marysa about 1 month ago. She really loves our cat winter.

I am super excited for her to be 8. Next saturday she will be getting baptized and becoming a memeber of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She is a bit nervous. I think she is really scared that it is going to take 2 tries to Baptize her. She said she had a dream last night about her Baptism and that she only had to be baptized once.

If I have missed anyone who would like to come to Marysa's baptism just make leave a comment and I will give you the address. It is next saturday at 11:00am.

Happy Birthday Marysa. We love you.

Decade Ago.

2010-05-24T14:18:00.004-06:00

A decade ago today I became a mother for the first time. 10 years ago today Caleb Nephi Ottosen was born. I was young when I had him. I was 20 1/2. He was a big baby weighing in at 9lbs and 6oz. He was 22 inches long. Today he is still a big boy. His feet are bigger than mine, he is almost as tall as me.

sorry about the poor quality of picture Caleb was born before we went digital. I wish I had more pictures of him as a baby and as a little boy. I do have pictures of him when he was little they are just not on digital pictures.

Here is about 7. It was crazy hair day and since we were going to cut it anyways we thought we would just cut it crazy for one day.

At times the last 10 years have gone by so fast. Sometimes I wish I could rewind time and hold this little boy again in my arms and rock him and kiss him. Okay so he isn't so little anymore. He became a boy so fast to fast. And now he is a pre-teen.
He is a great son. He is a awesome big brother. He is kind. He has a very tender heart. He loves to help people. He likes science and Math. He hates to read, only because he has a really hard time with it. He loves to play soccer. He is such a boy sometimes. Just this morning we was like "mom since it is my birthday do I really need to take a shower. I responded with well if you don't you might smell and kids might make fun of you. He responded with "I don't care." I said okay but make sure you put deodorant on. Such a boy to rather stink than have to take a shower.

I feel like I am starting the 2nd half of his childhood/teen years. I am really scared. It seems like it is about this age that kids start to be mean to each other. He has one of the purest hearts ever. He has a very special spirit about him. I hope he is always like this. I am just scared that his peers are going to be mean and with the meanness take away that pure heart. I have cried ofter with the thought of that. I wish I could just take away and hide him from all of the crap that can come with your teenage years. Not that the teenage years are all crap. But we all know that they can be hard years.

Caleb made me a mom. I am so happy that I get to be his mom.

Happy Birthday Caleb.

Happy 3rd Birthday Joshua

2010-05-19T15:02:00.009-06:00

Joshua was 7lbs 13 oz when he was born. A whole pound smaller than any of my previous babies.

Here he is at his 1st birthday party.

This picture was taken shortly after he turned 2.

This picture was just a couple of weeks ago. His hair in the last two weeks has gotten really curly.

Happy Birthday Joshua.
Joshua is my tender mercy for Heavenly Father. As many of you know it took almost 2 1/2 years for Azalea to join our Family. It was a lot of heartache in getting Azalea here. When she was about 7 months we decide to try for number four. After all it took over a year to get pregnant with her after we miscarried. To our surprise it only took 2 months. Which was a big shock to me. I believe one of the reasons Joshua came to our family so easily was because of the heart ache of getting Azalea her and also the heart ache of getting our soon to be baby boy Eli here. I believe that the Lord knew what was ahead me, and was giving me a "break" from heartache. That is why he is my tender Mercy from Heavenly Father.

I can not explain how much I love this little boy. I love him more everyday. He makes me laugh and smile every single day. Josh is every one's favorite. I love the way he pulls my head into give me a hug and kisses. I love how he sucks his finger and twirls his hair at the same time. (I took him to the dentist the other day and the dentist said that he has great teeth and that you can't even tell he sucks his finger yet.)

I couldn't imagine life with out him. He adds so much to our family. He is very easy going, always has been. He doesn't seem to get angry very often. He smiles all the time, another thing he has always done.

He is differently a mama's boy. I am not looking forward to the fact that he will love someone else more than me someday. I am so blessed that I get to be Joshua's mother.

He currently loves anything to do with cars. He is usually carrying one around.
He is 33 lbs and is in the 66% for weight.
He is 37 3/4 inches tall and is in the 49% for height.
He is struggling with his speech.
He can climb just about anything.
He not yet potty trained. I am okay with that.
He loves fruit and vegetables.
He likes to tease.
He loves our cats winter and Lady to much.

Happy Birthday Joshua, we love you.

Triggers

2010-04-26T15:14:00.003-06:00

It has been almost 11 months since I miscarried. I sit and think is that all it has been 11 months. I am doing good. Really good and not just because I am pregnant again. I had reached the acceptance part of grief, with my miscarriage before I even found out I was pregnant with Eli.

Yet there are still things that can trigger a breakdown for a moment or two. It is usually something someone says. Or it might be seeing a baby that is the same age as your child should be.

The thing is and I have done it too. The people who usually say something to you are the people that love you the most. It is usually your family. Family members who have not been through one themselves. Sometimes even when you have been through one you still can offend other people who have been through one.

Case in point back in November when someone I loved suffered a miscarriage I was more concerned about why she didn't tell me than what she must be feeling. I could sit here and justify why I felt that way. I could say I was having a bad day the day I found out and was still dealing with my own miscarriage. For me one of the things that might make going through this tough trial is knowing that I hopefully would be able to help someone go through it. Mourn with those who mourn. None of those reasons matter what matters is that I did not say the right thing.

Everyone handles miscarriages differently. Where I wear it on my sleeve. Everyone always knows how I am feeling. Others do not and they want to mourn in the privacy of there own bedroom. Neither is wrong. Just because you can see my pain and not another does not mean it isn't there.

I wish it was simpler in someways it would be easier if we all mourned the same way. We would not judge or look and someone and think they are handling it better than another. Some can mourn for just days where others it is months or even years.

What I have realized with this last trigger (someone saying how I was selfish during my mourning process) brings up somethings that I thought I had come to terms with.

One being what people can say about how you handled your grief. Or even how I handle what my beliefs are about my baby. Which my belief is that all my baby need was that little body of 13 weeks and that I will see him again and that he is in heaven waiting for me.

If you feel differently do not tell me. Allow me to believe what I need to. Don't go and tell me how I should or should not mourn. I had every right to mourn. By denying me the right to mourn is saying I did not have a baby. I may not have see the baby or held the baby or kissed my baby but I did have one growing inside of me. He only grew to about 13 weeks but he did grow inside of me.

Sorry about my little rant there. But I felt like I endured this last miscarriage with more hope, faith, understanding of Gods plan than I had either of my other 2 miscarriages. Yes it was really really hard, but I felt like I had over come my miscarriage that I had endured the grief proses. That I had gone emotionally to a really dark place and I could have stayed there but I chose not. Just not once through the grief but multiple times. Yes my kids saw me cry. They also saw that I made it through the grief. That I was sad but that I was once again happy. I am sure seeing me grieving was hard for them. Why is mommy crying for? Why is mommy still crying? Plus during all of the grief we moved into a home. The kids had to say good bye to there friends. They had to say good bye to they only place that they had ever lived or only place the remembered. They had to start at a new school. Yea I am going to say that it was hard on my kids too. We all made it. We all endured it, it was not easy. I am not sorry that my kids saw me cry nor will I ever be, because they all saw that I made it. I will allow my kids to talk about my miscarriages. I do not believe in them hiding there feelings.

So don't tell me I was selfish when I was grieving. I handled it the best I knew how. When I wasn't sure I was handling well I choose to go to a therapist to help me. Which she did help in a lot of ways.

What I learned was is that I had bad days but I also had good day. That made all the difference you tend to look for the good days. At first they were only once in awhile. But now most days are good. But every once in awhile I will have a bad day. Triggers I call them. When I have a bad day don't tell me that I have not gotten "over" my miscarriage. It isn't about getting over it is about accepting it. Yes I have accepted it but it does not mean I won't still have a sad day now and then.

Myself included we just need to watch what we say. Not judge and remember everyone handles grief differently.

What is lurking underneath your boys bed?

2010-04-21T17:30:00.005-06:00

Count them 3 aliens have taken over the underneath of my boys bunk bed

They look hungry.

Looks like there first victim is a shark. Maybe they scared it to death.

For dessert I think they will feast on Halloween/Easter candy. What is scary is I am not sure which holiday it is from.

Or maybe they are just looking for there lost Christmas tree light.

This looks like the top of the spaceship.

This looks like the bottom of the spaceship. I sure hope since they have feasted and found there lost light that they will be fixing there ship and leaving real soon.

Really it is just 3 potatoes that have taken over. The "legs have grown so big they are starting to grow through the bottom of the bed.

Ultra sound of Eli Cameron Ottosen

2010-04-17T20:53:00.005-06:00

I think Eli is very handsome. Just like his dad and brothers are.

Eli was very willing to show us he is indeed a boy.

I just love pictures of baby feet. They are so cute.

We were able to get a 3D picture too. The ultra sound tech said that Eli looks good. He is measuring 1 week ahead. I think his head is measuring about 10 days ahead. From what I understand big heads run in Andrews family.

We are very excited for Eli to join our family. I am sure he will be one very loved little boy. I am sure someone will always be holding him. I think Marysa will try to be his 2ND mom.

20 weeks

2010-04-14T20:48:00.003-06:00

I am half way done. Only 20 weeks left. Here are a couple of pictures of me at 20 weeks.

Check out my new post on my other blog 385 north

My day today part two.

2010-03-31T23:56:00.002-06:00

So I just typed up how my whole day went and realized I wrote it on the wrong blog. So if you want to read it go to my other blog. It is 385 north. It is one my list of blogs.

Just another sign of wow my day went today.

spring

2010-03-29T12:49:00.022-06:00

Spring is here.
You can tell by the pretty flowers.
These purple flowers just make me smile.

The start of pop corn popping on the Apricot tree means spring is here.

Kids riding bikes is another sign spring is here.
Sure enough kids climbing trees is a sign spring is here.

Sometimes spring is here, but mother nature forgets or is just not ready to let go of Winter.
I love the smell, the feel, the sight of spring. It means life is coming out of hiding and we can see life begin again. The tulips in our yard should bloom with in the next few weeks. I am excited to see what colors we have and to take millions of pictures. This is our first spring in our new home. I can't wait for all of the fruit trees to bloom. To start our first garden. To just in enjoy the longer days.

Again I love spring.

He has graduated

2010-02-24T12:39:00.002-07:00

Caleb has graduated from speech, He is so excited. After 7 long years being in speech he is done.

I am excited for him too. He had his IEP today and the speech therapist says he does not need anymore speech. He does however still need reading and math resource.

It all started about when he was 2. I noticed that he wasn't talking like a "normal" 2 year old. My Doctor told me not to worry. I however did and when he was 2 1/2 and still not really talking, I called the Early Intervention program in my city. They came and evaluated him and he qualified.

He was in the program until he was 3, at three you move on too the school district where you get your IEP.

Every year you set new goals and have your IEP meeting. Some of the IEP meetings have been just awful. I think the worst one was his going from preschool to kindergarten. What I saw in Caleb was different than what his teacher saw. In the meeting was the school principle, special ed kindergarten teacher the regular kindergarten teacher, the preschool teacher, the speech therapist, the occupational therapist and the school psychologist.

What we all knew was that Caleb was not learning very fast and that he was struggling. What I saw in Caleb was a very friendly boy, who would have gotten along well in a regular kindergarten class with resource help. His preschool teacher however saw this tall boy who cried and was afraid that he would not do well in a big group.

So what we decide to do was have him go to a small group kindergarten and through out the year he will be transitioned into the regular kindergarten class.

Guess what happened. Nothing until the next IEP meeting and they realized that he was not being transitioned, after that meeting they just through him into the regular kindergarten class. He did great socially, just like I thought he would.

What I learned from this is to trust my mother instinct.
All of his other IEP's have gone great.

What we are most excited about today is that he has made progress in all area's and that he no longer need speech.

Go Caleb, I love you.

This and that.

2010-02-16T21:19:00.002-07:00

I am not even sure where to start. Life is going good. I am 12 1/2 weeks pregnant now and things seem to be going good. We heard the heart beat again on Monday and the Doctor was able to find it right away. I am still sick, which is really good. I am so tired I have not ever been this tired before with any of my other pregnancy.
Maybe it is cause I am older. I feel like all my body wants to do is eat and sleep. Eating is getting a little frustrateing because if I eat something to sweet it makes me sick. My pants are already to tight. However this is my 8th pregnancy, I supose I should pop out sooner than later.

Azalea threw winter down the stairs and broke his leg. We are not happy about that.

The last couple of weeks have been really nerve racking for me. I worry so much about losing this baby. So I am grateful for all those that said a prayer for me and my unborn child.

More later I am sure. I am just so tired to really think anymore.

Danette

It is about time

2010-02-01T20:04:00.002-07:00

We have been with out a computer/internet for almost 3 months. We have all been doing well. We remodled some of our house, we got 2 new kittens.

I am glad to be back. Now if I can only get my camera working.

Make sure you look to the right to see the new widget I put up.

A new addition to our family

2009-12-09T10:30:00.006-07:00

This post is done by Andrew:
Before I get to the new addition I want to say that our computer is having issues. We will be without a home computer till sometime next week. Danette is going into withdrawls being able to only talk to kids for a large amount of the day.

Now on to the news of the addition to our family. On Saturday 12/5/2009 we added 2 people to our family. Well . . . we added two kitties. We couldn't decide on just one so that is why we took 2. Their names are winter and lady.

Winter
Winter is peaceful. He is happy sitting all day on your lap.

Lady
Lady is fiesty. She likes playing with her claws. If the youngest two come near she has taken to playfully reaching for them as they jump back thinking she will claw them. This has become a necessary precaution for her, despite our attempts to control them. They both like our recliner as when they have had enough they can hide in it and the kids can't get them out.

My first loose tooth.

2009-11-15T16:23:00.003-07:00

Marysa is going to write about her experience in loosing her first tooth. She waited a long time for this to happen most loose their first tooth when they are about five she is 7 1/2.

My Daddy pulled out my tooth it hurt.I didn't want him to pull my tooth.I tried a apple.when my dad pulled out my tooth it started to bleed. I had to get a paper tall.I had to tack to my grandma Tolman. I had to tack with a paper towel in my mouth .He pulled out my tooth.

My new blog.

2009-11-09T11:57:00.003-07:00

I finally did it. I am starting a bog about my creative side. You will find photography, how to make stuff, projects I am going on my home. The list can go on and on. You can find it here http://danikatedesigns.blogspot.com/.

Have a fun time looking.

Jealous of my kids.

2009-10-30T23:16:00.002-06:00

I am so jealous of my kids. In more ways than one, but this time of year I am jealous because they get candy. Not that I want that much candy. There is something about going trick or treating that is just thrilling to me.

My husband's work had a trick or treating party at his work. 2 building of trick or treating.

My kids where done trick or treating after about half of the first building.

They were done. I wanted to keep going.

Don't you want more candy. I ask.

No they were done.

I don't think that a 5 gallon ice cream bucket is enough Halloween candy.(At least there is tomorrow too.)

So on the way to our friends house I was like I am so jealous of you kids. I wish that I had my own bucket of candy.

You should have heard my kids giving me the lecture about to much candy. It was quite funny.

My response was it is not about the candy it is about getting the candy.

For a moment I wish I was a kid again. The kid in me at time just wants to come out and play.

So if I ever come to your house to trick or treat just indulge me and give me some candy. If you are ever on a float and I am screaming "I want candy" just through the candy. If you are ever a waiter/waitress at a restaurant and I tell you it is my birthday I am telling you because I want you to sing to me. So sing to me.

Anyone else ever jealous of your kids?

This Morning

2009-10-28T10:35:00.003-06:00

Today started at 9:11 am. Late I know. My alarm did not go off or maybe I was just sleeping so well on the guest bed with Joshua because he decided to get up at 3:00am.

School starts at 9:00am. Yes my kids were late to school this morning. As we are getting ready Marysa sees the calendar on the fridge and says Thanksgiving is on the 26th of November.

I reply why yes it is.

Marysa well are we going to go to Grandma Cameron's for Thanksgiving?

I reply I don't know.

With desperation in her voice she replies but You don't know how to cook a turkey.

I reply I know how

Marysa: Oh

So already today my cooking skills are question.

We live maybe 200 yards from the school. Marysa does not like to go to school late she does not like everyone staring at her when she walks in late. I really just wanted them to walk to school like they always do. However Marysa would not go unless I walked down with her.

It is a cold morning and I did not feel (lazy) like walking in the cold with 4 kids 200 yards to the school. So I load the kids in the car which we are not driving because the registration has not renewed. SO Andrew had the van, because I was not going to "need" it today. Anyways I had to move the fence over so we could back out the car so I could take them to school. I tried and tried and I could not get that fence to move.

Caleb ask mom I will try and open it.

I reply well I think it is stuck because of the cold weather.

Caleb: I will try anyway.

Guess what he opened it up like it was the easiest thing in the world to open. So now my 9 year old proves to me he is stronger than me. I knew one day my boys would become stronger than me but at 9 come on. His feet are already bigger than mine and he is only about 5 inches shorter than I am.

I should look on the bright side and realize I have another strong man in my life to look out for me.

I just realized that I did not give them lunch money so I need to once again get in the expired car, because it is too cold (lazy) and take the lunch money to my kids.

Maybe this time I will put a bra on.

My 30th Birthday

2009-10-04T23:12:00.002-06:00

Today at 4:43 am I turned 30. I can't still believe where have the last 30 years gone. I have been nervous to turn 30 not sure why.

My 29th year has not been the best year for me. I have had parents move, friends move, and brothers move (My sister had already moved). I got strep throat last October. From January to April one kid was sick after the other. Andrew had kidney stones twice. I think the saddest of all was losing my baby.

We have a had some good things happen. We were able to buy our first house. I won't lie I feel cheated because I have longed for a house and I finally get one and it is over shadowed by the miscarriage. As happy I was about getting our house the pain I felt form losing my baby was stronger.

Anyways I had a wonderful Birthday. My Dad and sister Amber surprised me with a visit. My Dad lives in Texas my sister Idaho. It was a present from my sister Amy who lives in Spain. I had a wonderful time with them. We ate ice cream, took a walk, ate pizza, took a drive up Nebo Canyon. My sister and I on Saturday went to Chile's for a girls night out.

On Sunday My Dad and Sister wanted me to go up and see my Grandma and my Aunts and Uncles and Cousins. I said sure. When I arrived my family was waiting for me they through me a surprised birthday party. I was very surprised. I love my extended family very much. They where worried about me and wanted to let me know they loved me and so they through me a party. I am indeed very loved. One sad thing did happen after the party, I had to say goodbye to my Dad and sister Amber. They had to go back to Idaho. I will miss them very much.

We ended the day by going to my mother in laws house for dinner. It was a birthday celebration for my husband and I. My husbands birthday is on October 9. A quick side note we have the exact same numbers in our birthdays. Mine is 10-4-1979 and his is 10-9-1974. If you can't do the math fast enough my husband will be turning 35. My mother in law made enchiladas they were very good. She also made this very yummy peach dessert.

Thank you to everyone who made this a wonderful birthday. I think I am ready for what my thirties will bring.

Our tongue curler

2009-09-14T19:14:00.002-06:00

We have one. We finally have one. Not that we expected one or our kids to do this, because Neither Andrew or I can curl are tongues. Caleb can't. Marysa can't. Azalea can't. But Josh can.

He is so cute when he does.

Our walk to the park.

2009-08-28T11:32:00.003-06:00

Summer is coming to an end this is very bitter sweet for me. Anyways I thought that I would take Azalea and Joshua to the icy stand to get an icy. Since the Marysa and Caleb where at school.

I loaded up the two little ones and off we went. We walked down a steep hill, turned the corner came to the icy stand only to find it closed. It did not open until after 3:00 pm.

I was not going to let this walk go to waste so I continued to a walk up hamburger stand. I ordered to ice cream cones and some fries because on the sign it said worlds best fries or something like that. So of coarse I had to try them. They were good but not the best.

After the Ice Cream we walked to the park. I was not intending to go to the park today but hay sometimes we just walk and see where it leads us. Had the icy stand been open we would have not gone to the park. We had a blast at the park. I loved spending time with the little ones. I love how they play together. So here are some pictures of what we saw on our walk to the park.

Yummy Ice cream

Thirsty kids

an azalea

flowers

Shadows

The letter A

A bee

Someone swinging= Azalea

flowers and shadows

A really old truck

A cross

Handsome eyes

Beautiful eyes

Two very happy kids.

Our first home

2009-08-08T22:06:00.003-06:00

Andrew and I bought our first home. We closed on July 15th 2009. Lets just say with buying our first home and having a miscarriage at the same time has been well over whelming.

I finally have my house. It was built in 1950. It has lots of fruit trees. Apple, pear, apricot, plum, cherry and a grape vine.

Enjoy the pictures.

.

my baby and the memory box.

2009-07-09T14:36:00.003-06:00

This is the only picture I have of my baby. I don't know for sure if it was a boy or a girl. MY feelings tell me that it was a little boy. I have named this baby Scott Mason after my grandfather Oscar Mason.

He looks so cute in this ultra sound. Oh how I wish I had the chance to hold him. To see him. To nurse him. To kiss his sweet little face. Oh how my heart has ached the last month. How empty my heart feels.

My thoughts over the last month have been all over the place. At time I have even thought that this little boy didn't want me to be his mommy. I have experienced grief to its fullest this last month. I have been angry, I have been depressed, I have been in denial. My heart at times feels like it is being torn in a million peaces at times.

I have had a few days of peace. I have had peace one minute and the next I feel like I am about to lose it.

My kids have seen me cry. Marysa is always there to hug me. My kids have seen me cry a lot. I am feel bad that they have to see me go through this.

I have been to the temple many times. I am looking for answers but I have not gotten any yet. I think I am just not ready to hear.

Andrew has given me three beautiful priesthood blessings. The first one was right before my d&c. The second one was just a few days after the d&c and I couldn't sleep,so he gave me a blessing that I would be able to sleep and I was. The third one was just this past Sunday I had been having a hard time. He said very firmly that I would have more kids. This had weighed heavily on my mind.

At times I am not sure I have the strength to go threw this again. I am scared. It was so hard last time. I barely made it through. I feel like I missed a whole year. I feel like I lost friends because of how I handled it.

I do know that as time goes by that my broken heart will heal. I know that there will always be a part of my heart that misses my babies. I know that I will always think of what might have been. I know that I still have to travel this road some more.

I have made a memory box for my sweet baby.
I have included his ultra sound picture. The pregnancy test. The bracelet that my sweet cousin made for me. She made it for me so that even though I know longer have my baby that when I wear the bracelet part of him will be with me. It means so much to me that I can not wear it because I would be afraid I would lose it. I have the roses my relief society teacher gave me. I have the box of the figurine that my home teacher gave me. I have the cards that people have sent me. I have the booties from the hospital that I wore when I had the d&c done. I have an outfit that I bought for the baby. It has the picture that my kids drew for me.

My friend in my ward gave me a bush to plant so that I will have something else to remember the baby by.

I put a rainbow on top of the box as to remind me of the hope of what is to come after the rain is gone.

I am so grateful for all the support that I have received. All the hugs, all the prayers, all of the kind words, all of the people who will sit and listen to me just talk and work out my frustrations.

I still need prayers. I still need to be able to talk about losing by baby. I am not sure what this road has in store for me. I have a feeling of what I am suppose to learn from this experience. I just hope I can come out of this a stronger person and with a stronger faith in our Heavenly Father.

Saying good bye

2009-06-12T23:13:00.002-06:00

It has been a rough week. At time I keep hoping that I will wake up from this nightmare.

Wednesday night we dropped the kids off at my Mother in laws house. Andrew gave me a really sweet priesthood blessing. It mentioned that we would have more children. After the blessing all me kids came up at one time a gave me a really big hug. That felt so good.

We knew we wouldn't be able to sleep we stayed up watching movies and finally feel asleep about 1:30am. We woke up at about 6:00am. I really wanted to sleep some more but just couldn't. I called the hospital at 7:30 am and they said to be in their by 8:00 am.

We got there about eight but because of other things going on I was not able to have the d&c done until 11:00am. Up to this point I had been doing well. The minute the nurse came in I started crying. It was finally time to say good bye to my baby. It was so final. The nurse told Andrew to hug and kiss me and I just sobbed in his arms. It was the final minutes of me being pregnant with this baby. I just cried as they wheeled me into the operating room. As I rubbed my stomach one more time and said good bye to my unborn child. Oh how I wish that I could have held this baby in my arms.

There was a minor complication. I bleed more than I should have. I guess the baby died around 13 weeks and not 11 like they had thought. I guess 13 week babies have more tissue and so I bleed more. I was in the post op room for a while because it took awhile for my blood pressure to come back up. I think I was finally able to see Andrew around 2:30pm. I than stayed in the recovery room until 6:00pm when doctor Jacobs thought it was safe for me to go home.

We were lucky enough to spend the night at my mother in laws house. It was really nice to get the extra help since I was so week from the d&c.

I was at peace yesterday I could feel all of the prayer that was going out to me.

Today has been harder. I think the realization of it all is finally sinking in. It has been a roller coaster day. I feel at peace and at moments my heart aches so bad that I just cry.

I know I will have my good days and bad days. I just pray for a quick recovery.

Thank you again for all of the prayers and support. I hope you keep praying for my family because we still need them.

I am so sad.

2009-06-09T19:12:00.002-06:00

My heart aches so much at this moment. Maybe from the start I new something was wrong. I have been so nervous for this day to come for awhile. I was not excited for summer to come.

Today was suppose to be a happy day. I was going to go to the doctor and finally be able to hear the babies heart beat. Marysa came with me. As I was sitting on the table waiting for the doctor the moment he opened the door my heart sank.

He searched for the heart beat but could not hear it. So he took me to another room to see if we could find it on the ultra sound. It was a old machine so he sent me clear across town to get a better ultra sound done. The ultra sound tech could not find one.

The baby grew to about 11 weeks 4 days. I am 13 weeks 4 days. I will have a D&C on Thursday.

I want to say that I will be okay. I am not sure. My heart aches so bad. This is my 3rd miscarriage I know what to expect. I keep wondering what is wrong with me. Why does this keep happening to me? Did I do something wrong?

Questions lots and lots of questions. So many feeling. I keep thinking what if I Can't do this.

So please be patient with me while I am going through this trial. I will try to have faith.

Ironic thing is coming Sunday at church I was suppose to give a talk on adversity. I will not be doing that now that would just be way to hard. Last night I read 4 articles from the May Ensign on Adversity. I went to bed crying thinking how awful I handle my last miscarriage how I was so angry and bitter. Thinking how can I do this talk when I failed so bad last time I miscarried. I hope I get it right the 3rd time around. I want to say that I can handle it. I am not sure.

Happy 7th Birthday Marysa

2009-05-28T12:25:00.002-06:00

Marysa is 7 today. She has yet to loose a tooth. I keep telling her the day she looses her first tooth we will throw a party. She is so ready to loose her first tooth. She like to do things late I guess.

She was born four days late. My due date was actually on Caleb's 2nd birthday. She was 8lbs 13 oz when she was born. She was beautiful. She still is. I am not just saying this cause I a her mom. People would say she is a cute and then like a minute later say she really is beautiful.

She is smart. She enjoys reading, she gets that from her dad. She always does her homework and I do not even have to ask her too. Tomorrow is her last day of 1st grade. I can't believe she is 7. She is a beautiful girl. She is sweet. Yet she lets you know when she is mad. She loves her younger brother Joshua. She is so excited for this baby to be born in December I think she is more excited than I am.

I am so blessed to have her as my daughter. She has taught me patience, understanding, and much much more.

Happy Birthday Marysa. Have a wonderful day!

Happy 9th birthday Caleb

2009-05-24T12:42:00.002-06:00

It is hard for me to imagine that I have a 9 year old. Yet today is Caleb's 9th Birthday. I think of the struggle it took to get him here. We got married when I was just 18 I really wanted a baby right away. It took us about 6 months before we got pregnant, but that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. Oh how my heart was broken. I remember the day I miscarried I was sitting on the couch and this little voice said mommy I will come in May. We started trying again right way but it took us another 7 months of trying. We found out we were pregnant in September of 1999. Caleb was due May 26 2000.

Caleb was born on May 24 2000. He weighted a whopping 9lbs 6oz. He was 22 inches long. He was a great baby. He only cried when he was hungry. Caleb has always been above the 95% on height and weight on the growth charts.

Today Caleb is still big. He is almost as tall as me. By the way who says a boy can get taller than his mom or at least at such a young age. His feet are just as big as mine. He looks about 12. I wonder how old that makes me look. I was only 20 when he was born. Funny thing some guy at the post office thought he was 16. I wanted to say how old do I look. If he looked 16 He must of thought I was like 35. Which I am not.

Caleb is the most caring person I know. We were driving some where and he saw this moving van and people moving in and he said " oh man I wish I could help." That is how Caleb is he is always wanting to help. He loves helping people move in.

Caleb loves going to school. He loves playing soccer and riding his bike.

I always tell him how lucky I am to be is mom. I truly mean that. I feel so blessed that he is my son. He told me yesterday that he never wants to move out that he always wants to be with me. He wants to be able to kiss me everyday. Lets see if he stills feels the same way in 5 years.

Happy Birthday Caleb!

We love you.

Happy Birthday Joshua

2009-05-19T08:47:00.003-06:00

They say time flies when you are having fun. The last 2 years have gone by in the blink of an eye.

Joshua is so much fun. I have loved every minute being is mom. He wakes up every morning with a big smile. First thing he does is give me a big hug.

He is always smiling. He smile at everything. He is calm. He is patient. He loves food. He loves milk. He loves his brother and sisters. Azalea is his playmate. Marysa his 2nd mom. Caleb is well his older brother. The kids still fight over him. He looooooves to suck on his finger and play with his hair. Unless I am holding him than he plays with my hair.

This little boy has brought so much joy to this family. I look at him today and am still wondering where he came from. I know where. I look back at how long it took to get Azalea here and then when she was only 18 months he was here. He is are surprise baby our blink of an eye baby. Oh how I love this boy.

Wow 2 years old. My time really does fly when you are having fun.

Followup

2009-05-10T14:18:00.006-06:00

This is Andrew and I just thought I would followup on a couple of items. We finally got our pictures off our camera so here are some. The first is what the others looked like after the banana cream pie fight. it was really fun. I would recommend it for others.

This is us when we were able to go to the draper temple. We all really enjoyed it:

and lastly this shows the little bursts of weather that can occur in our house. In seconds a big mess can appear and if you aren't careful to catch the youngest two they can happen somewhere else while you clean up that mess. This has been multiple containers of spices dumped into a huge pile on the top of a bar stool, it has been wrecking the master bedroom. It has also been dumping 4 full containers of soap and shampoo out on the bathroom floor all at once.

Surprises and Secrets

2009-04-29T14:22:00.002-06:00

Oh how I hate surprises and secrets. If you ask anyone who knows me well they will tell you this is very true.

When I read a book I am always skipping ahead. I usually read the last chapter first. I always want to know how a movie is going to end before I go and see it.

Birthdays and Christmas are the worst. If I could I would buy all the presents on the last day, because I hate finding a gift I know someone will love and then I have to wait to give it to them. I usually end up showing my kids at least one gift I got them because I just can't wait.

Why do I bring this all up well my family has a big secret we have been keeping. A big surprise. We have this wonderful gift. I just can't wait for Christmas to come. I want everyone to know what this gift is.

We were going to wait to tell the world. Somehow this little secret/surprise is out there.
My kids know, my parents, my in-laws. So is everyone else dying to know what it is. I am dying to tell you trust me I wanted to shout our secret/surprise when we first found out about this gift.

Are sure you want to know.

Really

It is a big surprise I would not want to ruin the surprise for you.

Okay, only because I really hate keeping surprises and secrets.

We are having a BABY. Our 5th child is due on December 11, 2009. We are super excited about this baby.

Why me? So embarressed. Can I please just go and hide.

2009-04-12T13:03:00.002-06:00

Can I start this day all over again. Can I hope that I am really just dreaming and that I am going to wake up at any moment and get that feeling of relief that only comes from waking up to a bad dream.

I am not dreaming. I did have a embarrassing moment in church today. For me it tops the time Caleb came walking into the chapel after going to the bathroom with his pants around the bottom of his feet. In his case he was only four but that is another story.

My kids were just not good in Sacrament meeting today. I wonder if any of that Easter candy had anything to do with it. This is another story too.

I was stopped by the Relief Society Chorister and she asked me if I would lead the music in Relief Society. She need to get home to a sick child. I of course said yes but that I really didn't know what I was doing. She said the songs where in 3/4 and 4/4. Sure I can to that.

I was so nervous I have not led music since I was in young womens and than you can just flare your arms and no one really cares.

It was hard. Now this song had 4 versus. Guess what I did in my very nervous state. I closed the song after the 3rd verse. Yes I closed the song and sat down. Everyone was like Danette there is still another verse. One lady jokingly said the fourth verse is the most important.

I cried during the opening prayer. I wanted to get up leave the room and hide my embarrassed self . I told myself I have two options. Run or suck it up and laugh too. I sucked it up but I could not laugh. I stopped the tears and got up for the practise hymn and lead the song.

Oh how I really just wanted to leave. It took every ounce of courage I had to stay and finish what I had started.

I stayed.

I stayed.

I stayed.

For me this is a small miracle. Especially in my current state of ...........

The embarrassment didn't stop just because I continued to lead the music because when church was over with as I was walking down the halls for me it felt like all the ladies were silently laughing or at least thinking "At least it wasn't me".

Moral of the story. Conducting music is really hard.

4 -4-09

2009-04-04T18:39:00.002-06:00

What does today bring.

1. General Conference. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints 179th annual conference.

2. A new baby, My friend had her sweet little girl at 9:59 am, and I was able to be there.

3. The end of the strep throat. Marysa, Josh, and Azalea all got it.

4. No insurance. Andrew starts a new Job on Monday. Insurance for his old job expired at midnight. New insurance picks up on monday.

5. A new apostle - Elder Neil L Andersen

6. Its my half birthday. That is right I am 29 1/2 today. So in Marysa's words " that means you are almost 30" . Yes in 6 short months I will be 30. Not sure how I feel about that.

7. Its a light snowy day.

8. Its Saturday that is always good.

9. A messy house.

10. Lots and lots of yummy hugs and kisses.

A new sleep.

2009-04-03T09:23:00.002-06:00

Two very big sleeping changes have happened at my house.

1. My baby sleeps in a big bed now and its all my fault. I should be really happy about it but... I am not. We bought a bunk bed for the boys a couple of months ago. The intent was to let Josh continue sleeping in his crib for at least another 9 months. He was 21 months when we bought them and i figured I would move him when he was about 2 1/2.

I was wondering how he would do on the bottom bunk. I told him if he got out I would but him right back in his crib. He got out of the bed once so I put him in his crib. He cried for awhile and so I gave him one more chance. He stayed in bed he didn't get out.

He loves the bed. He is really obedient. I will lay down with him for about 5 minutes and then I leave and he stays in bed and goes to sleep.

Funny story really quick. I put him down for a nap one day and he got out of bed . The door was shut so I let him just cry. He only cried for about 3 minutes. When I went to go check on him I couldn't see him.

Silly boy had climbed up the latter to the bunk bed and had fallen asleep on Caleb's bed. Josh is a pro at climbing up and down the bunk bed.

I just can not get myself to take down the crib yet. I am not ready for my baby to be sleeping in a big bed. Joshua respects his freedom. That I love I hope it is something that will always stick with him.

2. We are the proud owners of a c-pap machine. Andrew had a sleep study done and he has sleep apnea. The cure a c-pap machine. We have only had it for 2 nights but it is a wonderful thing.

100 %

2009-03-31T22:48:00.003-06:00

Marysa has worked really hard this year on her spelling and she finally did it.

She got a 100% plus she got her bonus words right.

downfall
someday
downcast
backbone
something
inside
maybe
himself
outside
herself

Bonus words
Grandpa
Grandma

These are very fitting bonus words because I am sure that Marysa's Grandma Tolman, Grandma Cameron, Grandpa Ottosen, Grandpa Cameron and Grandpa Tolman are just as proud of her as Andrew and I are.

She was so excited to show me her spelling test. The last few months have been a little bit harder for her because she was able to move up to the next spelling level.

Way to go Marysa. Keep up all the good work.

Banana Cream Pie Fun!

2009-03-23T22:27:00.002-06:00

This is one of the few times you will see me, Andrew, post on this blog. I leave that to my wife generally. Tonight however I had to comment. You see my wife is in the shower, washing the banana cream pie out of her hair and face.

It all started when my wife was glued to the computer reading blogs and everyone was mildly eating desert. Me and Marysa started throwing small pieces of pie at each other and it escalated from there. It took my wife a good 4 or 5 minutes to recognize this. We included her later.

I would expect pictures later, when we find the cable for the camera.

Listening

2009-03-20T08:16:00.002-06:00

I had one of those aha moments yesterday. It involved my son Joshua.

I found him playing with some perfume that I have and I Immediately took it away. He follows me into the bathroom just crying. I continue to get ready in the bathroom. The whole time Joshua is just crying pointing to where I had just put the perfume. I keep telling him it is not a toy. He just will not stop crying so I put him in time out in his crib. With in a few minutes he stops crying.

I go into get him out. I open my arms to get him out and he grabs my hand and opens it.

And he puts the lid to the perfume in my hand. That is all that he wanted, he wanted the lid to go back on the perfume.

What a moment to teach me about listening. Sometimes the crying isn't what it seems. Sometimes all we need to do is open up are hearts or hands . We need to just give that extra bit of time.

Sometimes in life we do not know who to express ourselves. Just like my 2 year old who just can not say the words Mom here is the lid. He was crying and pointing and I assumed he just wanted the play with the toy.

Just give a few extra minutes of your time. Try to listen try to understand. Do not assume. Maybe they are just wanting you to put out your hand so that they can tell you want they need.

5 years ago today .

2009-03-18T09:54:00.010-06:00

As I sit and think about what happened five years ago today. Which I have been doing all week long. I am usually lying in bed when I think about this heart breaking event. I find my self crying again, I find myself feeling the pain again.

It seems like every night this past week I have been thinking about how I would write about this loss that I had. Should I tell the whole story. Should I tell how I really feel about my loss.

Yes I am going to write about my miscarriage so if you are tired of hearing me talk about it please do not read any more.

I will start with my story.

We found out we were pregnant the very beginning of January 2004. I was nervous because I was due on Sept 12 2004 and 5 years before that I was also pregnant and due on Sept 11, 1999. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks.

I went for a ultra sound on the exact day that I had miscarried the time before. I remember thinking I made it past 10 weeks and during the ultra sound the babies heart beat seemed to high for me something just seemed off. I just shrugged off the feeling because the ultra sound tech said it was fine.

Everything seemed to be going well. I went to my 12 week check up and the midwife could not find the heart beat. She said not to worry that sometimes they just can not find it at 12 weeks. She could tell that I was up set and she told me to come back in 2 weeks.

So time passed and it was time to go to the doctor again. I was excited because I just new that they were going to find the heart beat. Andrew, Caleb and Marysa were coming with me to the midwife appointment. We packed a lunch and ate it one the grass at the doctors office.

Time came to hear the heart beat. They could not find it. At this time I am still sure that the baby is just hiding. The midwife wants me to go and have a ultra sound. The soonest appointment is about 2 hours away. Andrew needs to go to work and so I call my mom to pick up the kids. This leaves me by myself. As I am sitting there I come to realize that my baby is dead. The nurse sees that I am upset and she stays with me the rest of the time.

I remember laying on the ultra sound table just praying that they find a heart beat. They do not. In that moment my heart breaks. I have just learned that my baby is dead.

I go back to the midwife office and they ask if I want a d&c or if I want to see if I can pass the baby myself. My brother Chad was getting married in two weeks so I chose to have a D&C.

The catch it was going to have to wait a week. So for one week I walk around with a dead baby inside. It was the hardest week of my life.

Life stopped yet it continued.

So the morning of the D&C which is was on March 18th 2004. I woke up in labor. I was having contractions 1 minute apart. My mom and I head to the hospital. It was my mom because Andrew was just starting a new job. My mother in law watched my kids for me.

By the time I got into the pre opp room My contractions hurt so bad. Just as I was about to get into bed. I believe my water broke. I climbed into bed and about 5minutes later I pushed the baby out.

I saw my baby. Oh how perfect she looked. She was so tiny. ( I feel like the baby was a girl. I never did find out what the baby was). She had finger nails and toe nails. All I could think was how perfect she was. I am so glad that I was able to see her. I know that Heavenly Father was guiding the whole think. I really did not want a D&C because I really wanted to know what my baby looked like. It was a good thing that it happened at the hospital because my placenta was stuck and I need a D&C to remove it.

Here comes the part that might offend some.

I had just lost a baby. This baby was my baby. I had just lost a Child. A child I was not able to hold a child I never got to kiss. A child that only lived in side of me for 15 weeks. Oh how my heart ached. The support I needed was not there.

Not only did I lose a baby but relationships became strained. Some still are.
How I want to scream I had a baby and She died. By the way I named her Valerie Grace. She has the same initials as Andrews grandma Shanley. Who passed away that September she was too be born.

I truly feel that I have lost a child. Is my sorrow less than that of someone who has lost a living child. I believe not. Yet I had no funeral, I was not able to cry on any ones shoulders. I was not able to see others morning over the loss of this child too. It was only I.

It has been five years and I still cry over the fact that I really had no support. I still feel like no one understands. Except maybe Becky. No one wants me to talk about her. I can't even have a conversation about what happened and not have someone take offence by it.

I wish others could Just see that I truly lost a child. This child is always in my thoughts. She would be almost five.

I have this memory box that I made for her. It has the pregnancy test in it. Some flowers that were given to me. The two notes that I received. The little blanket that the hospital gave me. It has the story of what happened.

It had a letter that I wrote to her on the day she would have been born.

I would like to share that now.

Baby ottosen

Today is September 12, 2004
Today is the day you should have been born. Today we should be in the hospital . Today I should be holding you, counting your toes and feeding you with my breast.

Six months ago your little heart stopped beating the doctor said it was a chromosomal error.

I spent 15 weeks with you growing inside. I never felt you move inside. I don't know if you are a boy or a girl. I never got to hold you . I did see you, even though you were so little you seemed so perfect.

You are my baby and I love you and I miss you. You have a great big brother and sister. They would have loved you so much. Daddy loves you too. One day we will get to meet you and give you hugs and kisses and we can give you a name. I want you to know that I will never forget you.

Love, Mom

I am so sorry for those who I have offended. I should be able to say that I lost a child and I should be able to talk about her. I will not forget about her.

With all that said. I must share my testimony.
I know with out a doubt that My Father in Heaven was watching out for me. The timing of everything is proof of that. I was angry at Him for a long time. I new that I needed to continue going to Church because if I didn't go because I had just lost this baby that I might not ever go back. I continued to go. I was angry but I still talked with Him.

It was a very hard year. I think that it has taken me 5 years to truly trust the Lord again. I am striving harder to pay my tithing. We are striving to read our Scriptures as a family. I am once again starting to have hope again. Hope is something that I have not had in a long time.
The Lord had been patient with me. Even at times when felt he was not there I now know He was.
He knew that this was going to be hard. But He knew that I could do hard things. I wish I could say that I made it threw this trial with out complaint and with out anger. I did not. I know that the Lord still loves me. He has since blessed my life with two more Children. I look at all my kids with awe. They are amazing people. They are my joy.
I want to thank My Father in Heaven for my dear Children and husband. In our darkest moments we need to know that he is watching out for us.

One extra note. Valerie means strong and grace means grace. I had to use all my strength to get threw this and when my strength was no more . Gods grace stepped in.

Boy panties

2009-03-06T17:23:00.004-07:00

I decided to buy Josh some underwear. I know that he is only 21 months, but I figured that if I let him were underwear once a day that maybe he would catch on a lot faster than Azalea did.

This idea really only lasted about 1 day. Mostly because I keep forgetting to put them on him.

Which brings us to today.

Josh took off his diaper and started to put on Marysa's panties.

I look at him and I quote " Lets go find you some boy panties." unquote.

So what exactly are boy panties? It is what a mom calls underwear because for the last 4 1/2 years she has had little girls in the home.

I must confess that this will take me awhile to say underwear instead of "boy panties."

How do I know this because it took me forever to learn to say panties instead of underwear when Marysa was being potty trained.

As I have been writing this I have been wondering why I keep saying " Boy panties" when I have a almost 9 year old boy . Well it is because this almost tween wears boxers.

So the word underwear has not been in my vocabulary for years.

So Joshua please forgive when I tell you to go and get your "boy panties" on.

The kidney stone.

2009-03-05T17:47:00.001-07:00

Tuesday started like every other day.

7:45 is when my cell phone alarm goes off. Yes I use my cell phone as my alarm.

Who remembers on this day how many times I hit snooze. Some days I hit it 5 times.

Lets fast forward to around 7:00pm. We had just sat down to eat dinner.

Andrew says I my back really hurts and so does my man hood. I say do you feel like you did when you had your kidney stone back in October. He replies yes.

Long story short because I am sooooooooooooooooooooo tired.

He had surgery early this morning to remove his 3mm kidney stone. His surgery went well. We arrived home around 1:00 pm.

I was able to take a nap from about 2:00 to 3:30. But I am still soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired.

Oh and Andrew is still soooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I guess that is what happens when you don't sleep for about 2 days.

It's official

2009-03-03T09:12:00.003-07:00

It is official.

After a few months of trying.

After a few months of disappointment.

After a few months of crying.

After a few months of hoping.

After a few months of thinking this is never going to happen.

After a few months of wanting this so bad.

After a few months why does this seem so hard for me to do.

After months of wanting this miracle it has happened.

I am sure you are all dying to know what I am talking about.

I am Just not sure I want to say the words out loud yet. I do not want to jinx myself.

Maybe I will wait a little longer to tell you just to make sure that this is really really it.

This news is just so big that I want to scream it from the roof tops.

Azalea is potty trained.

I told you it was huge news.

Happy....

2009-02-13T16:11:00.005-07:00

Happy 26th Birthday David.

Today is my little brothers birthday. He is the youngest in our family. His birthday also happens to be on Valentines Day. He is married and has a little girl.
He is a great uncle my kids love him very much.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday David.
This picture is of Caleb (my son), David and his daughter Aubrey. It was taken the day Caleb was confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

The worst mom in the universe

2009-01-30T10:33:00.003-07:00

Marysa and I had a fight this morning. According to Marysa I am...

The worst mom in Utah. I tell her some of her toys are being taken away.

She doesn't like me. I tell her your grounded

and

In her words. " I am not grounded you are. I am going to call your mom and tell her you are being me. I will I know her phone number. " I just laugh

And

I am the worst mom in the universe. I walk out of the room. I tell her I am done talking.

I think I must be doing a great job if I earned the worst mom in the Universe award.

The ward Christmas Party.

2009-01-19T23:30:00.002-07:00

This wonderful story takes place about a month ago.

I think it was a Friday. I was excited for this night to come. One I would not have to cook dinner. 2. Caleb and Marysa were going to sing a song.

We all got ready and went to the ward Christmas party.

It was time to eat. So I get in the long line. I wait my turn.

As I am waiting. I am also keeping track of Josh and Azalea. I am talking with friends in the line.

I turn to see Azalea's diaper on the floor. Yes it is on the floor. She is in a dress and had taken it off. I go to grab the diaper. As I do this she starts walking. What does she do. She raises her dress to above her waist.

Remember she has no diaper on. I run to get her. Leaving Josh in the line. I go to the table where my husband is. He take her and puts her diaper on her.

I sure hope know one noticed. It all happened so fast.

Buy the way Caleb and Marysa did awesome on their solo. They stood up in front of the whole ward and sang. Oh you better watch out you better not cry.

Oh how I love my kids. Even when they go around diaper less in public.

They must really want me to write a book.

2009-01-19T23:17:00.002-07:00

It was around 9:00 pm. The older kids were sound asleep in their beds. Azalea was fighting going to sleep. Josh was awake he had a late nap.

Andrew and I worked hard all day rearranging the living room. It really did take most the day. We were tired. We just wanted to sit down and watch some TV.

Azalea was still having a hard time going to sleep. I could hear her and Josh play right be hind me.

They are 2 feet away.

All of a sudden we hear some type of liquid spelling. We turn to see Josh peeing on the floor.

We both smile at each other. More like laugh.

Azalea had taken off Joshua's clothes and his diaper.

He takes off . I chase after him so I can get him dressed.

I find him in the girls room. I see only his backside and noticed that he was poopy too.

Not again

2009-01-13T23:56:00.003-07:00

I am not sure I want to write this post. I want to cry I want to laugh. In the end you can either cry for me or laugh.

It was just after dinner. I am trying to get things done. After all I need to run to the laundry mat tonight because my dryer just takes to long to dry. Who has time to wait around for 3 hours for one load of laundry. In my madness to get the clothes washed so that I could then take them to laundry mat. I was only half listening to the little ones. I could hear them playing what I thought was the bedroom.

I need to run into the bathroom for something and as I opened the door what did I see. I saw a naked 19 month old standing in the sink. A naked 3 year old standing on the toilet. Yes that is right they are both naked.

Are you laughing yet because it gets better. Here comes the not again part. I am not kidding I could write a novel about yesterdays subject. Cause not only were they naked but they both not just one but both had I am not sure if I can even write it. Here it goes. Their naked bums were poopy naked bums.

Surprised.

Me too how did the 19 month old take off his diaper. His partner in crime took it off along with hers. I am sure she was thinking that mom really wants to write her novel so lets give her another story to write about.

Just shortly after this happened I went into the girls room and there was Josh and Azalea getting into Marysa's play make-up. Josh had lip gloss all in his hair.

So we put the child gate up so the two partners in crime could serve there time at living room arrest.

So I will laugh and not cry.

Family Night

2009-01-12T22:40:00.002-07:00

This story is not for the faint at heart or those with a weak stomach. This story may make you gag, or it might make you laugh because it happened to me and not to you. I am sure when my kids are all grown I will be able to write a novel about this subject.

What is the subject you are asking.

Are you really sure you want to know?

Why don't you read the story and find out.

We decided to go out to dinner. Andrew was in the mood for a good buffet. So we ended up at Golden Corral. We were enjoying our meal. Did I mention I am trying to potty train a certain 3 year old. Any guess yet on the subject. As I was enjoying my plate of mashed potatoes. Oh how I love mashed potatoes. I noticed that Azalea peed on her seat so I of course cleaned it up after all it was just pee. Just as I finished cleaning that up. And yes I was going to let her sit in her peed panties. After all she was standing on the seat eating. I turned just for a moment and this is the part where if you have a weak stomach you should stop reading.

When I turned back to her I noticed yes poop on the seat. I grabbed a napkin and picked up the poop picked up my 3 year old and headed straight for the bathroom. Praying that nothing "else" would fall. Would you know this would happen when It was just me and the little ones at the table. Not sure what to do I ran to the bathroom with Azalea leaving Josh at the table hoping I would run into Andrew, Caleb or Marysa. It was Marysa who I ran into. So quickly I said go to the table and watch Josh. Oh how I love that Caleb and Marysa are old enough to help out.

So I made it to the bathroom with nothing "else" falling to the ground. I frantically pulled down the changing table. Pulled down her princess panties (which by the way are currently in the golden corral garbage). As I pulled it down of course it got all over her legs and some Flew out of her panties and I mean it flew out. I think It "it" landed in about 3 different places.

Wipes I need wipes. Oh there is only about 3 left. This is a 100 wipe change. Thank goodness for paper towels, soap and water. It did the trick. I cleaned off the 3 year old cursing in my head that she is going back in diapers and that I hate potty training. I cleaned of the changing table with soap and water. After all "the stuff" did land on the Changing table. It make it worse some lady came into the bath room and when straight to a stall and started throwing up. So here I am cleaning up the "mess" and hear some stranger throw up. So are you laughing so hard you are running to the bathroom to pee or are you running to the bathroom to throw up your self.

I waited to tell Andrew the story until he was done eating. When we got into the car Caleb says mom tell us the story now. So for about the next 15 minutes we talked about poop. Yes we did. The kids just laughed as I told story after story about poop. Hey they are the reasons I have story's about this subject. Marysa is still the queen of poop story's.

We had a wonderful family night.

1. went out to eat
2. Azalea poops
3. We talk about poop.
4. We go to the Provo Temple to talk about Eternal Families.
Just a funny thing. Andrew ask the kids if they had any questions about the Temple and Marysa ask "Dad how old is Phineas and Ferb" What where did that come from.

One day I just might right my novel about my adventures of ...

I hope you enjoyed yet another potting training moment.

My advice to you. Only have kids that are born potty trained.

And it came to pass..

2009-01-02T17:12:00.006-07:00

The Nativity

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all ^athe world should be ^btaxed.

(And this ^ataxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called ^aBethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

To be taxed with Mary his ^aespoused wife, being great with child.

6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her ^afirstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the ^binn.

8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the ^aglory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you ^agood tidings of great ^bjoy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is ^aborn this day in the city of David a ^bSaviour, which is Christ the ^cLord.

12 And this shall be a ^asign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 ^aGlory to God in the highest, and on earth ^bpeace, good will toward men.

15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

16 And they came with ^ahaste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

Mary played by Marysa

Joseph played by Caleb

Shepherd Played by Azalea
Shepherd 2 played by Ryan
The Angel played by Brenna

Our Christmas Memories 2008

2009-01-02T16:13:00.010-07:00

We had a wonderful Christmas season that will last forever. We had fun with friends, saw family that we hadn't seen for awhile. We tried new things, continued traditions and celebrated Christ birth.

The girls were able to meet the Christmas fairy. Our local Macey's store invited the Christmas fairy to their store. We had a really fun time.

We were able to go the kids school and see them perform Christmas songs. Each grade got a chance to go on stage and perform 2 Christmas Songs.

We had a fabulous ward Christmas party. Were Caleb and Marysa performed their first duet by singing "Santa Clause is Coming to Town". They did a wonderful job.

We went and saw the Festival of Tree's in Spanish Fork. We started this tradition about 4 years ago. We love driving around seeing the Christmas lights and listening to Christmas music. This is a must for all. After we were done seeing these lights we drove to Thanksgiving Point to look at their Christmas Lights. After we stopped at McDonald's and had Ice Cream. We had a wonderful time spending time with my parents.

We went bowling with Andrews sisters and their families. I of course won. The kids had fun. Josh even got a chance to bowl. Thank goodness for the gutter ball rails.

We also were able to go Ice skating. This was a first for my kids. Even Josh was able to Ice skate. We had a so much fun Ice skating with Andrews family. One of the best things about the Christmas season is being able to spend time with family.

One Christmas Eve the children and Uncle Ryan acted out the Nativity while Uncle Todd read the story and Aunt Sarah played the piano. It was a wonderful experience and the kids were just adorable.