Can I start this day all over again. Can I hope that I am really just dreaming and that I am going to wake up at any moment and get that feeling of relief that only comes from waking up to a bad dream.
I am not dreaming. I did have a embarrassing moment in church today. For me it tops the time Caleb came walking into the chapel after going to the bathroom with his pants around the bottom of his feet. In his case he was only four but that is another story.
My kids were just not good in Sacrament meeting today. I wonder if any of that Easter candy had anything to do with it. This is another story too.
I was stopped by the Relief Society Chorister and she asked me if I would lead the music in Relief Society. She need to get home to a sick child. I of course said yes but that I really didn't know what I was doing. She said the songs where in 3/4 and 4/4. Sure I can to that.
I was so nervous I have not led music since I was in young womens and than you can just flare your arms and no one really cares.
It was hard. Now this song had 4 versus. Guess what I did in my very nervous state. I closed the song after the 3rd verse. Yes I closed the song and sat down. Everyone was like Danette there is still another verse. One lady jokingly said the fourth verse is the most important.
I cried during the opening prayer. I wanted to get up leave the room and hide my embarrassed self . I told myself I have two options. Run or suck it up and laugh too. I sucked it up but I could not laugh. I stopped the tears and got up for the practise hymn and lead the song.
Oh how I really just wanted to leave. It took every ounce of courage I had to stay and finish what I had started.
I stayed.
I stayed.
I stayed.
For me this is a small miracle. Especially in my current state of ...........
The embarrassment didn't stop just because I continued to lead the music because when church was over with as I was walking down the halls for me it felt like all the ladies were silently laughing or at least thinking "At least it wasn't me".
Moral of the story. Conducting music is really hard.
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10 comments:
Oh no, I'm so sorry. At least you've had your turn and can refuse and not feel bad for a good two years or so. Whew!!
That stinks. The good part is that you are willing to serve. You would be amazed at how many people turn down requests like that. I know because I used to lead the music (why?...I still haven't figured that out. I'm not that good at music) and it was like pulling teeth to get anyone to substitute. On behalf of the RS chorister, thank you, thank you, thank you!
You handled it perfectly. I would have probably done the same thing - agreed to do it, messed up, then had to joke about it. We have a great group of ladies who probably sympathized with you rather than laughed at you. I mess up on something every time I'm up in front of Relief Society. Even if there are a few that laugh AT me or think I'm stupid, I just have to remember that that's something they have to work on, and that there are dozens of other sisters who care about me enough to just laugh WITH me. You are great!
Just remember everyone makes mistakes and if you were in the shoes of someone watching you conduct, it probably wasn't that they were laughing AT you but WITH you. Remember to keep a sense of humor when you are trying something new and good job on sticking it through!
Conducting music IS hard. Jas had to take a whole bunch of classes on it before they would let him teach choir. You were fine. I think it just added to the spirit of the meeting and made us all feel closer.
I agree with everyone else. Seriously, being in a presidency has made me so grateful for any sister who is willing to do anything. The fact that you said yes says a lot--especially since you don't feel like you're good at leading! You should be proud of yourself for that. But, I do have to say that I can definitely relate with the feelings of complete and painful embarrassment! The way you wrote about it made your feelings so clear to me--I've felt the same way. But remember, anyone could have messed up, and if you saw someone mess up you probably wouldn't think anything bad about them. That's probably how most if not all the sisters felt. You're a great person!!
I ditto all of the comments made. I've done similar things and felt similarly. It seems like I'm always embarrassing myself at my husband's family parties. I used to cry, but now I just laugh, too. I know they love me and I can see the silliness in my mistakes. It's nice to have a good laugh. It's nice that I can see they mess up from time to time too. If I were there last Sunday (we were at our parents' ward for a missionary farewell), I wouldn't have been laughing at you, just with you. People generally laugh at little children when they make mistakes, but they don't think any less of them. I think it's endearing to see little kids innocently doing something off kilter. When adults make mistakes, it lightens the mood just as when a small child does. I think it's REFRESHING honestly. And we all love YOU. In our ward, I genuinely feel like we're a large family. I feel that most people in the ward are genuinely loving and accepting of each other. So don't sweat it. Relief Society is a place of learning and where there's learning, there's bound to be some failing. (I couldn't think of a rhyming word that worked) BreeAnna's favorite show lately is The Magic School Bus. As Ms. Frizzle says, "Take chances. Make mistakes!" I love that show. I'm sure that you did better than you think. Don't be so hard on yourself. I know I would have done the leading in Young Women "stlye". I think it has more "style" anyway. ;)
I'm sorry I laughed when you told me the story. I am insensitive husband at times.
i love you mom.i like your blog.
Don't you hate it when things like that happen!? But, hopefully you'll be in the free for a while now!
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